Judge — October 6, 1923 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Right Off the Bat (A Few Series Remarks) by Robert Cyril O'Brien HERE Will be some rabid rooting during the series. As usual, the wildest fans will be those who get seats behind posts. Babe Ruth's longest hit will be a fly that will land in the pitcher’s box at the Yankee Stadium. The teams will be playing at the Polo Grounds that day. When crowd become both stadiums will be utiliz teams will play the odd innings at one field an the even innings at the other. The venders will be as courteous as usual. Peanuts will be plural. The fanatics who frequent Coogan’s Bluff will receive the returns by radio, as the radio is faster than the eye. The announcers will) employ their customary subway-accented) Ukrainian patois. No person will be seated after every seat is occupied unless said person is able to present sufficient evidence of physical prowess. Anyone desiring a private subway car in which to return from the game can try and get same by applying to the president of the Interboro or somebody. In case of rain games will be 5 1 under the grandstand. Patrons dissatisfied with outcome of games may have their money refunded by holding up the treasurer of one of the ient alley. ay be reache subway, bus, airship, velociy flyer, telephone, te graph and radio. It won't do you any reach the grounds, however, unless you possess one of the coveted pasteboards. clubs in some con How grounds 1 trolley, elevated, horseback, skates, kiddie kar, flexible By foot, good to tt Complex by Mildred Fowler Field Br pay IT am a lady, very prim and proper— Entertaining visitors, assisting friends at teas, By night I am a buccancer caring not a copper, Piloting a brigantine across the Seven Seas. I wear a cocked hat with a most audacious feather, A silver dagger thrust through my blood-red silken sash, T fly the skull and crossbones no matter what the weather— A story-book pirate with a sweeping black mustache, T'd like to load the ladies that decorate my parlor— Nibbling dainty sandwiches and sipping sugary tea- Aboard my pirate brigantine; from my harbor— I'd make them walk the gang plank and jump into the sea. far, far night. Be good! He (brightly)—I always am. “Yes, I'm afraid you are.” No Cause for an Argument by Robert Stevenson Brews had a bulldog that he prized highly. It had been his opinion for some time that Hector (for that was this noble animal's name) was without doubt in the blue ribbon class. And so at the first local dog show Brown lost no time in entering his pet, with every expectation of carrying off the But poor Hector was disqualified early in the contest, and it was hard for Brown (such was his chagrin) to be civil to his friend, the college professor, whom lte-met on the way home. However, being questioned as to the why and wherefore of hisgloomy aspect, Brown told of the great disappointinent. honors. 3 She (after a tiresome evening)—Well, good- this 2, looking down at the despondent: Hector, said in his most pedantic manner: Whereupon worthy pedagog “The canine was undoubtedly climin- ated b caudal ise of his unnecessarily elongated ypendage.”” »,° said Brown, quite unabashed by this scholarly effusion, 2 becoming heated as the recent decision of the judges recurred to his mind, “they said that his tail was too long.” and once me toe Tuyler isnt he? Cuyler—Well, he isa dumb-bell, but he hasn't got brains cnough to be a perfect one. Frank is a perfect dumb-bell, comicbooks.com