Judge — September 29, 1923 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

a oO eae HOW TO MAKE MONEY DO YOU WANT TO INCREASE YOUR INCOME? DO YOU WANT TO GET INTO A BUSINESS OF YOUR OWN? DO_YOUNEED MORE INCOME TO ENABLE YOU TO GIVE YOUR FAMILY THE BET- TER THINGS IN LIFE? Naturally you do, but you probably do not kne f the many plans and oppor- tunities that exist today, any one of which would start you on the road to undreamed of prosperity, You could not gather this information as we do. By maintaining a large and expensive organization we are con- stantly accumulating a mass of facts and data pertaining to every imaginable MONEY-MAKING opportunity for publication, monthly, in our magazine, “HOW TO MAKE MONEY’ This publication is on sale at almost " nd in the United S' and Canada, at 20 cents per cop} regular subscription price is § year and $3.00 for foreign. YOUR BIG OPPORTUNITY If you have the “guts” to do things, the determination to lift yourself out of the rut that is cluttered up by some 100,- 000,000 odd, nerveless _ individuals without any ambition other than to step up to the pay window on Saturday night and take what the “boss” wishes to give them, then we will make you a proposition to sit in with the MONEY- MAKERS by offering you a year’s mem- bership among our subscribers for $1.50. THE ADVANTAGE As a subscriber you receive every copy promptl. id without fail. You don’t have pend on getting to your newsdealer before he sells out and you get the co-operation of our organi- zation at all times and many timely tips in advance on new opportunities we learn of. ates $1.50 A dollar and a half might well put you in the wealthy class. There is no gamble, it’s the best chance you ever had offered to you. SEND IT TO- DAY, NOW. HOW TO MAKE MONEY PUB. CO. 117 West 61st St. RSs 2 Dee L New York GUARANTEE/ . 70K % oe TEN SotD BOND GUARANTEE EACH TIRE ow on! Goodyear, Goodrich, Firestone, Fisk and nd other fine makes of tres a |-breaki ‘These almost new fees Silleantgree | “This pat of sand i “To teach you how to play “I could do better,’ | She dropped her e} “Hey, Rembrandt! "A -tephas You'll never get anywhere with this old daub- ing! Ya oughta get a comic strip in the newspapers!” The First Game by Carlyle F. Straub T Is so queer you do not play. T'll teach you how,” said she, | “If you will come some leisure day To Jackson Heigh’ h me.” w And so it happened we were found One fateful « in June, Armed and equipped to play a round And pass an afternoon. From which I dri |She struck and watched the ball—not me— Which I liked not at all. So round the course we played that day— I need not say she won— And I am also free to say, Her patience was all gone. she said, “Would take me all my * T replied “If you would be my wife.” and said: “I've found You do not need a ‘coach’ To teach you some things; in one round You've learned how to approach.” sae A woman is sometimes a bundle of nerves—tied up with the wrong man. “That’s right, sir! Throw out your chest as far as you can.” 28 To-day’s Feature by A Listener HE mouth is an aperture through which much passes and functions as an entrance by land and an exit t It is the favorite haunt of the tongue occupies all territory in front of the soft palate not ceded to the allies. It runs parallel to the eyebrows and is thirty degrees north and east of the epiglottis For making love, ruining reputations gargling, vituperating and bidding no trump, it is situated most advanta geously. In approximating age, smooth ness and kick it is invaluable. A healthy hows a mouth at its best and its ty is in marked evidence during the sweet-corn period. The mouth is used to distinguish be- tween coffee and soup, except in time of war, when there is no difference. It is the game preserve of the dentist and the orifice through which the tony trade of tonsil-moving has been put on a paying basis. Eggs are diagnosed with — the mouth and proper homage is paid to the postage stamp, hominy and the keeper of the flask. A pretty mouth will win a husband when all clse but a handsome dowry will fail. If it wasn’t for the mouth a major operation would be neces- sary in order to pick the teeth and there would be almost no custom at the to- bacconist’s in Honest Scrap. As an aid to smokers, auctioneers, vil stock salesmen and ardent lovers the mouth is a gilt-edged asset. It is also an important adjunct to an afternoon tea It has just about made conversation what it is to-day, for it is the undisputed birth- place of the bonmot and the lapsus linguw, Without the mouth there would be no one-arm indigestion castles, and the paté de foie gras and pretzel menace would be unknown to this civilization. Dieticians would be permanently out of work and very few citizens would fall for a course in phonetic spelling. All children would be wonderful, even to the nation’s landlords and vaudeville shows could be tolerated to some extent. And if any hookoo wanted to broad t a sentiment he'd have to wig-wag it across with his ears. aoe “Have you read the new book, ‘The Lodge Brother’?” “It grips you.” comicbooks.com