Judge — September 29, 1923 — page 28: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

WITH THE COLLEGE WITS Irrepressible, Joyous, Irresponsible M“s JARET, aged seven, naughty. I've never seen things so dull in my life!"—Yale Record. The Female of the Species it just. wonderful “Dyes you think, i to be engaged?” she asked. “I suppose it is,” I replied, “but I've or tried it.” you heard ne went on. t about them?” re engaged!” about Dick and “No; wh ll “Don’t you ever dream of marrying?” she breathed, leaning closer and laying her soft white hand upon mine. “Think of alittle cottage, a wife, and kiddies. “Will. you—would you—m-marry m-me?” T stammered. “Oh, John!” she exclaimed in surprise, “this is so sudden!”—New York Mercury. m- The math. professor integrates the differential. —Stevens Tech. Stone Mill. toe Relative—My boy, I thought you were going to get married -Collegiate—Girl threw me over. “Why so?” “Didn't get my degree.” “But I thought you ing grades.” The prof that busted me claims I didn’t do enough work.” “But how could he know?” “Hell! He’s the girl’s old Virginia Reel always made man.” — PIS Gazing at one’s self in the mirror is by no means an indication of vanity. In many c it is humor.—Boston Beanpot. Fae Hitch your wagon to a star—but it is a good hunch to pad your trousers. —Iowa Green Gander. sometimes very On one of those s her mother, desir- ing to be particularly im- pressive said: “Don’t you know that if you keep on doing naughty things your children will naughty too?” Margaret cried trium- phantly, “Oh, Mother, you gave yourself awa Lafayette Lyre. ttt Prof—Morphy the most valuable man in the ¢ Morphy—How’s that, Doctor? “Well, you talk in your sleep and so all the other men awake.” —Georgia he you’ re oe HERE are meters trochaic, And meters iambic And meters of musical tone. But the meter ter, and sweeter, ‘er in the moonlight Alone. —Nebraska Awgwan. oa “Try a sample of the stuff before you buy it,” hissed the bootlegge “But suppose it kills me “Well, it’s my loss then, ain’t it?” Johns Hopkins Black and Blue Jay. sae “What would you say a eynic was?” “A cynic, dear girl, is a man who has never stepped out with anything but a co-ed and who claims that all: women are alike.” —Brown Jug. eat watcha doin’? Guy—to, Bill; ig -Nothin’; watcha doin’? Nuthin’, so let’s ha smoke.” “Sure, I hate to be —Stanford Chaparral. “I hear that Bill fell in with an actress and then fell out with her.” “No harm in that, is there?” “No, but between the two falls he broke every bone in his pocketbook.” —Princeton Tiger. “But John, dear, married you told me fifty dollars a week.” before we you were were am, but the boss just gives mc twenty.” —Oregon Lemon Punch. Rated Pretty Thing (to football tryout) In what position to you play? He (blushingly)—Bent over.—M ichi- gan Gargoyle. tt “T'm awfully sorry to trouble you, Charlie, but this letter must go to the post office. It’s only two blocks and “That’s all right—don’t mind me. just wait here in the shade.”— Ski-u-Mah. rl Minnesota He—It wouldn't be much trouble for us to marry. My father is a minister, you know. She—Well, let’s have a try at it, anyway. My dad’s a lawyer.—Mass. Tech. Voo Doo. ttt The East gs np the great Caliph fell in love with Layl the dancing | slave. Thirty elephants, fifty monkeys and a casket of gold and precious stones from the prince across the mountains. Moonlight on white domes. Bring on the ¢ Palm trees swaying beneath the moon. The camel road to Hindustan. . . . Taj Mahal » Ghandi’s Little Cho Cho San in a blue kimono walking midst a shower of scattered cherry blossoms. “And the pilgrims halted, singing, as the sunlight flashed on the white peak of Fuji-yama. The streets of old Japan. Real photographs of geishas dozen.—Toronto Goblin. tat ncing women! The 2 per Our idea of a ventriloquist is one who can answer two consecutive names at roll and get away with it.—Cornell Widow. ttt Hester—Are you from the Far North? Lester—No, why do you ask? “You dance as if you had snowshoes —Dartmouth Jack o’ Lantern. on.” comicbooks.com worth i The Bibe berg He Aust ada inco dire Kop will nigh of | pep)