Judge, 1923-09-22 · page 7 of 36
Judge — September 22, 1923 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Explanation for Modern Readers **The Cartoon:** The top sketch by Ena Ditzler depicts a beginner horseback rider who hasn't yet learned proper riding technique—the humor is visual wordplay on "hit the saddle" (meaning to ride frequently) versus literally striking the saddle from falling off. **The Main Article:** Walt Mason's poem "Blessings That Bore Us" satirizes the contradiction between what people *should* want and what they actually desire. Mason praises water's health benefits while admitting he'd rather drink alcohol—whiskey, ale, beer, and patent medicines like Peruna (a popular tonic). The irony is that water is objectively good for you, yet boring compared to intoxicating alternatives. The lower cartoon mocks pseudo-intellectual boasting: a scientist brags about creating artificial lightning, only for his daughter to casually reveal she's been doing the same thing all her life (a dated reference suggesting she's capable of "stunning" men into unconsciousness, likely through flirtation or social manipulation). Both pieces mock self-deception and pretension through humor.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Drawn by Ena Dirzter. “Do you ride much in the open?” Beginner—Well, I haven't hit the saddle very often! BLESSINGS THAT BORE US MAN feels thirst beneath his vest, with drought his innards hiss; there is no doubt that wate best, at such a time as this. My vitals thus [ often drown in water from the brooks; but there’s no joy in pouring down this beverage, gadzooks. A bard can’t sit beside a pail of water, ora jar, and sing an ode that will not fail to class him as a star. A. sculptor cannot greatly sculp, if, when he feels all in, he finds the only thing to gulp is Nature's brand of gin. I sing the praise of water oft, I boost it with a will, the water hard and water soft, from river, lake or rill. I drink it from the garden hose, I drink it from the pump, I sip it where the willow grows down by the village dump. I deftly suck it through a straw, I swig it from a jug, | pour it in my burning craw from dipper, can and mug. And water keeps me strong and hale, and youthful for my years, whereas if I tanked up on ale, and bock and other beers, I soon would have the dark green taste and pimples on my brow, and I would have a larger waist than I can boast of now. I know that water is the goods, I boost the rippling rill; the babbling streamlet by Walt Mason in the woods is better than a still, Said babbling streamlet I regard as Nature's Enthusiastic Scientist—Think of it, Dorothy! Artificial lightning at last! Without the slightest effort I can knock a man cold! His Daughter—You poor old dear, I was born knowing how to do that! 5 finest crown; and yet [ find it mighty hard to pour the water down. My thoughts will roam to other drinks, in spite of all I do; to whiskers dyes and purple inks, and Page’s liquid glue. I seem to fix my mental gaze on kickful drinks of yore; I think of old Peruna ys, now gone forevermore. Ver T am loyal to the brook, to Na- ture’s. gin; adown. old avenues I look, but do not stray therein. Am La traitor if L think of bottled goods in bond, when I kneel down to take a drink from Johnson's old horse pond? And is it treason if I yearn for something with a jolt, when [am drinking from the burn, beside a cow and colt? The billows are the goods that knock; Tl always argue that; I) sometimes drink them from a crock, and sometimes from my hat. I drink cold water from a flask, and from a thermos jar; I gladly sip it from a cask, and from a samovar. I drink cold water when I've toiled until my pep is killed; I drink it raw, I drink it boiled, I use the stuff distilled. I drink it iced, I drink it plain, I eat it from a pan; [often stand out in the rain to soak up all Lea swatless comicbooks.com