Judge — September 22, 1923 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

STORIES TO TELL JUDGE pays $10 ehly for the b mitted for th and $5 for th Ve Beows, bought a round-trip rail 4 road ticket to a nearby town. When he was ready to return, he met a friend who was driving back and asked Mr. Brown to along. So Mr. Brown jumped in, with the return part of his ticket still in his pe \ few days later he visit the same town again. He handed the conductor that ticket. The con- ductor regarded it’ doubtfully. “Why, sir.” he said, “this ticket is the other come 1 occasion to going way.” “Well, that’s all right.” Brown, backwards.” [uese were some deficiencies in the early education of Mrs. Callahan, but mitted their existence. your name here she never mentioned them or ad- “Will you: sign said the young lawyer, whom Mrs. Callahan had asked to draw up a deed transferring a parcel of land to her daughter. “You sign it yoursilf an’ Pll make me mark,” said the old woman, quickly. “Since me eyes gave out, Pm not able to write a wurrd, young man.” “How do you spell it?” he asked, pen poised above the proper space. “Spell it. whativer way you plaz said Mrs. Callahan, recklessly.“ I lost. me teeth, there’s not the wurrld Ecan spell. Since a wurrd in ott Mure armospuere of the smoking-car lent itself to reminiscence, “Captain,” asked the hardware sales- man, “would you mind telling me how vou lost your arm “Not “at all.” repl officer with the empty s “It hap- pened this way: We were due for ua other turn in the trenches the next day, so they were giving a dance for us that night back in the rest camp. A few welfare workers were there and among the bronzed them was the cutest little girl I ever met. I managed to dance with her most of the e ng, and toward the end we wan- dered out into the moonlight... . tain, she said after a while, ‘ple your arm.” “And you know, she was such a sweet little girl, T just couldn’t refuse her.” eer A YUNG woman called up the tele- phone company and asked that the telephone service in her apartment be discontinued. “We are sorry to lose you, employee who took her mess you dissatisfied with anything? “Lam,” said the young woman. “That's too bad,” said the employee. “Perhaps we help you. What is it you do not lik “Single | woman. “I to-morrow.” said the “Are ssedness,” said the young am going to be married see A Mission worker tells of an old Jewish woman on the East Side of New York, who was bewailing the plight of her daughter, who had just been left a widow with a large family, with no one to depend upon for support but her own parents. “Oi, oi, oi!” wailed the old woman, “that my daughter's husband should die and leafe her with seven girls, and their grandfader in the boys’ cloding business!” tots AH SERMON dis mohnin’,”” orated the Reverend Erasmus Jackson, “am gwine, mah bredren, to be divided into two pahts. Ah preaches thutty minutes, and then stops while de colleck- shum am tooken up. Does youah contribution to de Lord's wuk appeah inspired by ginuwine gencrosity, Ah gibs thanks an’ pronounces de benedickshum, But on de odder han’, does youah offerin’ look like de at a game ob penny- Ah decides you is still in bondage to de debbil, an’ exho'ts fo’ anudder houah.” PR Mae is a doctor's AVE daughter just past six. On her last’ birthday the child’s father gave her a little ring with a tiny pearl in it. Not v long after that she appeared in her father’s office, looking very woebegone. “Daddy,” she announced, tearfully, “I’ve lost the little pill out‘of my ring.” 2 HE CAPTAIN watched from his boat the land- ing of the minister on the island. He the can- nibals rush from their hiding places and grab him and disappear into the bushes. saw rr Miss Germ—Don't, George. I heard the doctor say that kissing was dan- gerous. Rey years later, the captain passed nd much to his astonishment saw capping the top of a hill, a white church, He landed and was greeted by the minister. “Why, I thought they made broth of you th ‘ars said the captain. “No, said the minister, “when they took me into the bushes, T cut a slice off of my leg, and gave it to the chief and his wife, who found it to be anything but They in turn gave it to one man who gave it to until my leg went all over t “but.” added the something I did cannibals.” “What, gave them a slice of my a tempting morsel. anothe tribe.” Til tell tell these minister, not you said the captain. wooden Keeper—Hey, don’t you see that sign? comicbooks.com