Judge — September 8, 1923 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

nose had you said for : out Senator Slapdoodle—Whiat are my chances of re-election this fall in this district? wh “You've got a heck of a chance! We ain't had a rain in two months!” i Ml The Game of Stud the colorful anathema bloom in rare pro- But the collar button. still remains the hap . fusion. most trying of all. It is the one thing \ by Chet Shafer Men have had many tribulations since that will make a kindly and benevolent of ne powxrars, of man has been attri. the days when they caught their own fish father kick his favorite hound, nig buted by experts to various causes, #24 swallowed them whole. Such as One may search by and large, from the ma hone of which ate quite so blameworthy, Y#eations, home-cooked moon, one-arm lowest fen to the highest-priced_apart- tor however, as the collar button, Bred in Testaurants, ticket scalpers and janitors. ment, and if one can locate a genius who ss two styles, front and rear. it is « tulle loves his neighbor as himself and believes ag floating proof of the ravages of civ that the world was made to smile at, in, gos tion. The noble but unsanitary red man cncand! out. of, one? will discove ie had no more use for a collar button than examines him microscopic re Hie had for a pink embroidered: pen wiper! wears a shirt with the attached collar and tu He allowed his neck to sprout up and the collar attached. Baa roam about at will. His Adam’s apple 4 att for enjoyed more freedom than a U. S.° “For goodness sake, Henry, do drive more slowly! What's the use in coming out to the country if you don’t give me half time to read ‘the billboards?” st Senator. And he was happy. But when an effort was made to beau. 234, tify the neck the collar button was intro- duced, And it at once became the world’s premier affliction. Had the styl- ists been content to let nature alone officials at the county fairs would now be pinning ribbons on’ the prize neck. A flourishing neck would be the pride of every owner, But the dictators of fashion were determined that it should be kept as much of a secret as possible. And the collar button ensued. Some men have wives who adjust the collar buttons in their shirts. Others have valets who perform a similar serv- § ice. But the ordinary chance hookoo has to do this work himself. And before he gets his collar firmly fixed around his % neck he convinces his wife beyond all doubt that the words he used in wooing constituted but a small part of his active vocabulary. Profanity is never used quite so adroitly, though unsuccessfully, “So your boy's starting in at college this year. How’s he getting on?” Sot very well, 'm afraid. He hasn't et written for more money.” rer A young fellow fell in’ love with Central's voice and started proceedings by calling her an angel. And, while suspicious, she was in- terested. She said he was the first man who had ever called her that over the ‘phone. ery mused again? You are certainly not living up to your good resolutions. “T never made any. Nor do I feel called upon to live up to those that Ni Congress made for me.” = Patel = when a button rolls cosy into the sig at ote miles in Her thissums 75 This storm will probably put out »bscurity unc the resser or when a “No tour at all, Just back and forth the light:? Are you afrai dress collar is riveted on in front. Then, to the grocery ‘store for things my Ske—Not if you take that pipe out of friends, is when the sizzling epithet and wife forgot.” your mouth. comicbooks.com