Judge, 1923-09-08 · page 10 of 36
Judge — September 8, 1923 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Analysis of "Feet and the Car" by Walt Mason This page satirizes modern American automobile culture and the sedentary lifestyle it enabled in the early 20th century. **The Main Cartoon (top):** A newlywed bride complains to her husband that he promised to make her happy but won't even dance with her—establishing that cars have made people lazy and romance-averse. **Mason's Poem "Feet and the Car":** The narrator confesses he's become soft and immobilized by car ownership. He once loved hiking and walking, but now rides his "dappled gray" automobile for even short distances, calling his driver "Pete" rather than exert himself. Doctors urge him to walk for health, but he refuses, preferring comfort to fitness—even accepting gout and mumps rather than abandoning his vehicle. **"The Scare Cop" (bottom):** Pumpkin Center residents have placed straw dummies on bicycles at town entrances to deter speeding drivers, suggesting cars and reckless driving were already seen as social problems. The satire critiques how automobile convenience was making Americans physically weak and disconnected from natural, healthier living—a common Progressive-era concern.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Bride—Last week you promised to do anything to make me happy. feel like dancing! Now you don’t even FEET AND THE CAR by Walt Mason thought it very fine to comb the himself be bored, if he can purch babbling brooks and rills with costly sedan or trade with Henry Ford? hook and line. I usEp to roam the sunlit hills and r IT used to walk the wood- better in a bus expire, and close world-limousir lore; but things ha’ these modern day no more. I kn aren’t wise, it is no way I know I need the exercise that only feet can give. I have a car that isn’t cheap, it’s painted dappled gray; and on the cushions, broad and deep, I ride around all day. If I would go around the block, to see some other cuss, no man will ever see me walk—I always use the bus. If I would go across the street, some fifteen yards or so, I call my gloomy chuffer, Pete, and tell him where to go. My legs are soft, my feet are fat, I'm lacking pep and vim, I have a poultice in my hat, and cramps in every limb. The Lord designed that mortal man should use his toes and heels, it was not in the primal plan that he should move on wheels. He's built to sprint along the roads, a dust cloud on his track, to toil and carry heavy loads upon his ample back. Drawn by A. B. WALKER. THE SCARE COP The residents of Pumpkin Center have stopped fast driving through their town. Ona hill at each end of the town they have placed a straw man, seated on an old bike, leaning against a stump. 8 But who by any primal plan will let weary eyes, than walk nine miles and thus’ acquire some healthful exercise. Far better nurse a case of gout within a than roam the countrysi about, athwart the sylvan sc Oh, it is better far to croak, in comfort, in a car, than saw twelve cords of knotty oak to show how strong you are. A’ THERE are fiercer things than death, which cometh as tealth; one thing is chasing o'er the heath, on foot, in search of health. The doctors oft their bunk repeat, and say I could im- prove, if only I would use my feet when I decide to move. If I would only pawn my boat, and walk the dale and glen, I might regain my long lost goat and be in shape s truth in what visdom have they all value health losts, but they too high—it isn’t worth the cost. I'd rather have a convex pain that fills my form with woe, and take it with me in my wain. than walk and have it go. Just now I have a case of mumps, the swelling’s most immense, and every time the old car jumps the agony’s intense. comicbooks.com giv to, Bu