Judge — September 1, 1923 — page 9: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

STORIES TO TELL JUDGE pays 819 weekly for the best story sub q nd 85 ond iUsky member was escorting an - incbriated! friend and fellow-mem- her to the top floor of the clubhouse, vere the latter might slake his constant thirst. without — interruption. flights of had been climbed they paused moment the landing. think can stand two more. stories?” the Aed. Three laboriously for the “Do you stairs when on you inebriate was a “Shertainly,” was the instant response, “if theyre ver’ funny ones.” ’ woe hoted for his sl w, John,” said his mother, one asked you what part of the you want, what would you say?) I don't know. You must that no one So John say you else wants. always remembered that, and one night John was asked out for dinner, and as the host had fried chicken he asked John which part of the chicken would he take. “T will take some of the feathers.” tote Dw s, a man of thirty-two and g ute of three colleges had had con able difficulty holding a position of any kind, although he had tried half a dozen or moi One day, however, the president of a large corporation called at Daniels’ home and offered him a posi- ant the piece tion at a salary of $5,000 with advance- ment assured ‘if he made good. After staying with the concern for three years, he dashed into the president's office one Jay, very angry indeed, and bawled out: Say Chief, what's the joke anyway? I've been with this company for three whole years, my salary has been ad- vanced consistently until I now re $12,000 a year, but not one single sugges- tion of mine have you adopted.” “That's just the point,” replied. the boss, “when we in doubt as to the safest course to pursue, we call you in, get your advice and then do just the reverse of what you say, and during the past three years we have made lots of money.” are er AQMAN was strolling down the main © street of the town, holding a pointer in h. He met a friend and entered into conversation with him. The talk turned from one thing to another, but at last the discussion centered on the merits. of th dog said the can sme! Ma bird a mile away.” “Indeed,” said his friend, incredulously. He glanced at the pointer and was sur- prised to sce the dog sniffing nervously. “That dog acts as if a bird was under his nose and there isn’t a bird anywhere around here,” he said. The owner looked and was perplexed. Upon seeing some gentlemen it versation near them, he approached one of them and inquired, “Pardon me, sir, you a bird in your pocket?” .”” answered the man, briskly. The owner of the dog was indecd puz- aled, but, after a few moments of deep thought, he in approached the man and asked, “Excuse me, but what is your name, sir? Partridg Rad Apcnove of men were 42% playing poker in a : One of the k, was: k meth- sin handling the cards. ico Jack observed that of the players kept his eyes steadily fixed on the cards whenever it came Jack’s turn to deal. Finally, Texico Jack be- ‘ame irritated at so much attention being given to his deal. He complained that such close scrutiny was discourteous and suggested that the player attend to his own business. To which the watchful one repli I have seen you play in a number of games, and take it from me, that whenever a player i watching your d attending to his business.” owner, “that dog 2 COn- AS jeune Texico one own field.” Viz spEAKER’s text was “Ghosts, an Illusion of the Optical Nerves.” In winding up his discourse of ridicule and disbelief, he questioned his audience in loud stentorian tones: “Can any of you tell me of a case, where in a physical encounter with a so- called ghost, the ghost didn’t prove up to be of flesh and blood? Have any of you ever had an encounter with such a thing as a ghos An Irishman, pretty well bandaged up, arose near the front of the auditorium and raised his hand. “Ah! exclaimed the speaker, aman with something to tell us! Come on up, my friend, and let's hear what you've “here's aboriously worked his way to the speaker's stand. The nized him sharply. You claim to have had an encounter with a ghost?” he questioned skeptically. ‘Tis a bit deaf Oye am, men- tioned Pat, “would yez moind sayin’ thot over agin?” “You say you have with a ghost?” Pat's ear. “Ghost, mon?” queried the Irishman bewilderedly,” “Ghost? Ah, the divil, and Oye thot yez were sayin’ goat all the time!” speaker seruti- had an encounter bawled the speaker in stot AS IrtsuMan who was signing articles LX on board a ship, began to write his name with his right hand, then, changing the pen to his left hand, finished it. “So you can write Pat sked the officer. is. sor,” replied Pat. “When I was a boy, me father (rist him!) always said to me, “Pat, learn to cut your finger nails wid your left hand, for some day ye might lose your right.” with cither hand, “Do you think I’d succeed as an agriculturist?” “Dunno! crows standin’ Reckon you’d make a hit with the ‘round kinda natural-like in a corn comicbooks.com