Judge, 1923-09-01 · page 13 of 36
Judge — September 1, 1923 — page 13: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Analysis of Judge Magazine Page This page contains **three separate humorous pieces**, typical of Judge's satirical format: 1. **Top cartoon**: A man observing a turtle suggests it could "solve my garage problem"—likely a joke about the turtle's slow speed as a solution to speeding/traffic issues, or possibly a visual pun about the turtle's shell resembling a car. 2. **"A Declaration" (left)**: A comic poem warning a woman to beware suitors—a barber, dentist, artist, oculist, and banker—each who "love you for" specific body parts or money. Only the speaker "loves you for yourself." This gently mocks professional men's mercenary interests and flattery. 3. **Right side pieces**: Brief humorous sketches about: - A banker refusing to disclose account information, despite being a "teller" - A definition of "ingenuous" involving a secondhand car scam (antisemitic joke referencing "Cohen") - A wife always being late - A poem lamenting loss of pre-radio/pre-flight era simplicity The content reflects 1920s-30s social satire about modern conveniences, gender relations, and professional types.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“Might I ask what you find so interestin’ ‘bout that pesky little turtle?” “He gives me an idea that may solve my garage problem.” Tsopen, my ling, IT would that you beware Of Cicero, the barber, for he loves you for your hai And contra Claude, my dearest, pray do your ire unsheath, For Claude is but a dentist and he loves you for your teeth; While from the wiles of Reginald be sure that you escape, For Reg is but an artist who loves you yur shapes And harken not to Marcus with all his dirty lies, For Mare is but an occulist who loves you for your eves; And on the lips of Pierpont do nota kiss bestow, For Pier is but a banker and he loves you for your dough: wed with me this tantalizing elf, For being none, yet all of these, T love you for yourself. But instant, you The Lady—How much money has my husband got in the bank? Bani: Official—We are not permitted to tell you that, madame. “But [ thought that’s what you were here for. Aren’t you the teller?” eas » they call Doolittle ‘the little ise every time he touches you, you get stung.” as “What does this word ‘ingenuous’ mez 1, Vl illustrate. An ingenuous chap is the sort of fellow that would buy a second-hand flivver from a dealer named Cohen, and expect to sell it to a named Donald MacPherson without ting stuck on the deal.” tt Higgs was standing on the corner where he had waited an hour for his wife, when Biggs bre up. “What's the latest?” asked Biggs. “My wife,” said Higgs, “she always was, is now, and always will be.” 1L The Days Gone By la Riley— by Aletha M. P. Bonner days gone by! gone by! O the days O THE No radio waves to carry Grand Opera through the sky; Yet the gay notes of the robin thrilled us when we listened in As he across the meadow sweet y violin, When the human race grew sleepy, they could calmly close an eye, there were no bedtime’ stories in the days gone by! sae Now that the non-stop flights are so prevalent in aviation, some. one with ambition to make a name for himself ought to try it in matrimony. eat Wifey—You brute, I married you to reform you. Hubby— ll never marry ave succeeded so far. comicbooks.com