Judge — August 18, 1923 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Drawn by Lestig TURNER “Ten thousand hand-embroidered curses! these hot days.” The Happy Warrior (Continued from page 14) Tam contented with my lot; I would not change it by a jot. And I'm the gayest lad there is; all troubles past my dwelling whiz; I sit beneath my banyan tree and watch the scared mis- fortunes flee, and thank the gods with streaming and paw my lyre and swat the fl I don’t keep tab on neighbors fine who have things costlier than mine. For doodads let their coin be spent; I only hope they are content; if so, I know their lives are fair, and joy is with them everywhere. But if they paw around and fret because some folks are richer yet, they surely have a beastly time, and every moment is a crime. Llike my good old Sunday hat, |p I like my cow, I like my cat; I'm tusguamy pleased with everything I own, and have no time to sigh or groan. How we envy the old lady First © Commuter—Brown iciows'e lot about golf, Second Commuter—That’s all he di know. He's so thick he thinks Sandy Hook is a Scotch: pro. certainly sae Phil—There’s some very funny lines in this show. Whil—Yes; they are rather queer shapes, aren't they. The End of the Straw Hat Season. 24 The “Science” of Sport (Continued from page 10) of his career, was not the dramatic figure that Babe Ruth is to-day. Cer tainly Cobb never knew the wild acclaim that was the sin 1921 when he hit fifty-nine home runs. Yet. when you analyze the records of the two men, Cobb is the greater ball player by a wide margin. He is a much finer placement (or ientific’) hitter than Ruth, his ase-running record is vastly superior, and, despite the Babe's improvement on fly balls, a more dependable fielder. The answer is obvious. The mob prefers a fort-crumpling howitzer to a machine gun. And the mob is entitled to its choi After all, is there anything more dramatic in) modern journalisin than the report of a game that Ruth breaks up with a home run? It isn't so much the fact that he has hit a homer as that “the ball rode out of the park thirty feet over the fence, landed with a thud on Bazinkus street, took a grest bound and shot, with a loud crash, through the window of a delicatessen store.” The Babe has hit any number of home runs that involved picturesque details of this sort. These are the things that appeal to the imagination; — the make one see in a flash the prodigious nature of the slugger's feat. Cobb has hit timely homers but they haven't be ything like the tremendous, awe inspiring smashes of the Mandarin of Maul. Perhaps the only way in which Ruth is superior to Cobb is in the matter of strength and yet—ironie as this may seem—this makes the Babe a far more imposing figure in the eyes of the mul- titude, Many a modern novelist operates on this theory of the wallop’s effectiveness and appeal. “Faint clout ne'er won >” he muses; and proceeds to create a caveman-like hero who bounces boulders off his lady’s pate, drags her off to the great wide open spaces wher: men are men and hearts beat true, and marries her while admiring throngs look on. “Isn't she beautiful!” exclaims many a happy onlooker. Perhaps she is: but little does the observer know th that artistically draped veil conceals a cold compress that shields the abrasion that clinched her romance. It is ironic that this tribute to the might of the gods of wallop should go unnoticed. But the bride feels it and perhaps that is sufficient. She will tell her friends. The good work will go on—and_ the tupenny novelists, whose funda- mental principle is right’ even if they dont know how to write, will continue to tell you that, as far as romance is concerned, he who hesitates to hit is lost. When you're. sing ou wish that you were” marr: When you're married, you wish that “you w -married to someone else! comicbooks.com