Judge — August 18, 1923 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Shipwrecked Skipper—Parson, I wish I'd been a better man! “I wish to heaven you had been a better sailor!” THE HAPPY WARRIOR the smiling countryside; — it L four wheels and spark plugs six, and it can spring some nifty tricks when I would climb a hill on high or down the dusty turnpike fly. [ am = contented with my van; Ido not envy any man; for I can go as fast and far as any huge and shining car. I notice that the joyous jays who tour along the country ways, the jubilant and laughing hordes, are ly always driving Fords, or other tumbrels made of zinc, with lamps and fenders on the blink. Their hearts are glad, they smile and sing, and make the far-famed welkin ring. ‘The people in the fine sedans and limousines and kindred vans, the people with the ample rolls, may have contentment in their souls, but they disguise it mighty well; they look as though they'd like to tell sad tales of gout and drastic ills, of poultic purple pills. ‘They ride alor state and pomp, and seldom laugh, and never romp. If you would see a buoyant crew, all’ soaked with I HAVE a car in jwhich to ride about For Butchers: by Walt Mason gladness through and through, you have to watch the pewter wains that skip and scamper o’er the plains. The people in the limousines all seem to say, “We've spilled the beans.” I have no diamonds rich and rare, Thave no rubies in my hair: no sapphires in my whiskers shine—such gorgeous FINISHING SCHOOLS 14 1s were never mine. Some neighbors uirly clank with gems, with sunbursts, rings and diadems: and now and then they swell with pride as through the madding crowd they glide and show their wealth of precious stones that cost about a million bones. But does their gladness wane or wax, when they step up to pay the tax? And when they learn some other skate has gem collection far more great, do they not feel cold envy’s grip, and to their wailing places skip? M: watcnu is made of shining 4 b rass, my gems are of trans- lucent glass. - But I don’t envy any gent who by his weight of gems is bent. His eyes are always full of care; he sits and grouches in his lairs he’s heard that there are thieves in town, and maybe they will track him down, and slug him with a six- foot board, and carry off his sparkling hoard. ‘Though fifty burglars come to town, I do not fret, but lay me down and sleep and dream of golden lyres and angel Wherein is perfected the gentle forms and rubber tires. art of weighing the hand, wrist and forearm. (Continued on page 24) comicbooks.com