Judge — August 18, 1923 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

STORIES TO TELL JUDGE pays 810 weekly for th and 35 for the sc \' LERGYMAN in Ld Southern California relat with glee the fol- lowing: “In my pastor- ate in Lowell, Mass., some y good deacon and his wife shared their pew with an elderly lady, an intimate friend. The deacon’s wife died and some time later he married the latter. One day a wag in the church said to me: “ you've married Blank.” I urs; maiden and Mi together in the same pew so long ought to be married.” Second Prize D7 Waereto is spending the summer at Loon Lake. Mrs. War- field was relating a conversation with a friend who had just purchased a Rolls- Royce, and who said that not the slightest sound could be heard in the rear seat, Mrs. Warfield continued to remind her husband that their Cadillac rattled. David, not impolitely, but with an air of finality, remark ry well, « To-morrow I shall buy you a set of « muffs.”” Perl TP maeevearold Rita possessed a cat named Corky Davis. However, she forsook her pet and journeyed eight hun- dred miles to visit her grandparents. The morning following her arrival, upon looking out of the window, she crie “Oh, grandmother, there’s a cat that looks like Corky Davi “Isn't it strange that you would find a cat like him away down here?” her grandmother replied. “Oh,” Rita answer has friends everywhere! ttt “Corky Davis Dar nap been having difficulty with his grammar. He went to Mike for advice. “Tam vs gettin’ confused in me grammar,” Pat. “Tow sc ked Mike. “T never can remember whether to ‘It is me’ or ‘It is 1” Phat’s easy,” returned Mike, “IT can tell you a way of knowin’.” ure and I wish you'd tell me of it.” said P: “Just say over to yourself this rhyme: ‘It is 1, said the spider to the fly.” A few days later they met. : “What about your grammar, Pat?” 1 Mike. “Not so g replied Pat. “Did you say over to yourself the Mike asked. there’s the trouble,” answered perplexed, “I could not member wheth your rhyme was: ‘It is I, said the spider to the fly, ov “It ix me, said the spider to the flea” rhyme I told you? “Yes and Pat re- ttt Southerner, who had arned to hurry, wanted to give his favorite recipe for home-brew to a friend. He began the search for it in his right coat pocket, slowly re- moving article from the ‘right to the left without results. Then he reversed the operation, transferring the contents of the left pocket to the right. Still the recipe was not forth- coming. He had started patiently and deliberately to empty. the right pocket again when a smile lighted his face. He his reminds me of the nigger boy Th Drawn by J. P. DAVERN who sweeps the drug store on the corner. T asked hitn the other « dusted the furnit “Caze T jus? swep’ and if T dus? de furniture de dus'll git back on de flo” an’ T have ter sweep de flo” agin and den de dus’ “Il git on de furniture” If it isn’t in one place it’s bound to be in the other.” And he resumed the search and found the clusive bit of paper. why he never rer Scor whose name was MacIntosh, LY and who was proud of the fact that he was directly descended from the chief of the clan, was having a dispute over the fare he owed to a taxi driver. The man with the meter talked loud and harshly, and it angered the High- ander, “Do you know who T am?” he de- manded, proudly drawing himself up to his full height. “I'm a MacIntosh.” The taxi driver snorted, “[ don’t care if you're an umbrella,” “TIL have my rights.” he said. ott "Te setersoon party was over and hostesses the two were holding the customary post-mortem, “Did you he asked one of them, “the howl of laughter that Ronald emitted when I dropped my spoon? “Did he howl?” was the reply. “Well, r, he’s considered a you know, my de regular tea-hound “Why don’t you like your job, Ed?” Ex-Bartender—Well, I 11 like to see some results. comicbooks.com