Judge — August 4, 1923 — page 9: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE pays 810 weekly for the best story sub: mitted for this page, and 85 for the D AU others at regular rater. Original lished humorous stories only are wan dreas “Storica to Tell Editor,” Ju $3d Street, New York City: Second Prize A tssin fourth grade geography: was having difficulty in studying about After a very discouraging les- son the teacher attempted to make a summary an anyone tell me,” he said, “what we get from the sun?” No one replied for some time. At last one young hopeful raised her hand eagerly. All right, Minnie,” said the teacher, 1 may tell us.” Freckles,” came the reply. tae ATARMER rode into a Middle Western town and inquired of the first. man he met where he could find an undertaker. “An undertaker?” the man asked there some one dead at your house “No, there is no one dead,” replie r, “but my wife is pretty sick. Well, then,” the man advise doctor, not an undertake ” said the farmer. “What I want is an undertaker. You know, I have joined the Co-ops, and we have cut out the middlemen.” the sun, rey Bra’ she had made him wear short socks instead of stockings the clergy- imaii’s wife, was apprehensive when her small son Bobby returned from his first day at publie school. When he had gone to Kindergarten ‘the Boys had made fun of his abbreviated leg covering, and he had cried bitterly after his first school “Did the boys make fun of your socks? asked his mother anxiously as Bobby swung through the g “Tug Johnson did “What did my brave boy say?” “T said, “You got on stockings like your mother wears, and I am wearing socks like my dad!” HE nervous “Li old gentleman to an urchin who was munching candy at a movie show, “you are annoying me very much knawing this ’ere * replied the lad. who is also an for eggs. He had about given up hope. show them to his skeptical wife. house and was just ready to yodel from the old hen,” Firat Prize enthusiastic chicken : coddling blooded hens th One year he had several hens guaranteed to be the best sort of layers, yet morning after morning he returned empty-handed from his. s« So on the morning of his birthday he was delightfully surprised to find four beautiful, pearly eggs in a nest. He quickly gathered them up, planning just how triumphantly he would Not until notice that each one bore the neatly penciled greeting: fancier spends much are usually too high-class to. work. rch he reached the dov triumphant, “Whoowhoo! f the did he “Birthday greetings J ACKSONVILLE, ORE., is a small mining town, which has sustained a reputa- tion for a Wild West atmosphere. A resident of this little hamlet was visiting a nearby city, and was asked by a gentleman of the city where he was from. “Jacksonville,” was the reply. “That reminds me, 1 the gentle- man, “the other day we had quite a bit of excitement in our city. A man rode into town on a mountain lion, and was leading a wild-cat- which he had tied onto a hundred feet of bar! wire. He rode up to a drug store, hitched his lion to a street hydrant, and tied up his wild-cat. Going into the drug store, he called for four ounces of carbolic acid. Drinking this down, he said: ‘I'd like to have chaser; gimme two ounces of sulphuric acid.’ Drinking this at one gulp, he started out. The druggist called to him. my friend, wait a minute. Would you mind telling me where you are from?” “Weil, I here at there is so I'm been livin’ down Jacksonville, but. them folks gittin’ too hard-boiled fer me; leavin’ town.” Prey visitor from across the line who LY had been imbibing a little too freely of Quebec hospitality, happened to pass one of the churches on which were twelve large bronze statues, representing the twelve Apostles. A small fire close by somewhat confused him, and looking up at these statues he shouted: “Don't jump, boys! The firemen will be here ina minute with the nets.” ANY Pix This doesn’t frighten him— nor this— nor this— nor this— Xt, But, oh, mamma! comicbooks.com