Judge — July 21, 1923 — page 28: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

for every owner of a DODGE BROTHERS MOTOR CAR 2s 2c With no owner of a Dodge Brothers Motor Car is it a question of whether he will add accessories, but of what accessories he will add. This is not to imply that the Dodge Brothers Car is not a wonderfully complete and efficient car as it is delivered from the factory. It means simply that a car, particu- larly a Dodge Brothers Motor Car, stirs in all of us the same old jealous affection which, as boys and girls, we used to feel always for the favorite among our possessions. It is also good common sense, an effort to increase the safety and return from our investment. But strict care should be taken in the selection of these accessories—and also of the supplies so necessary in running the car. The market is stocked with supplies that are harm- ful and with accessories that at best are useless—in a deliberate attempt to exploit the owner's pride in his car. How do you know what accessory equipment will best serve your pur- pose in adding to your comfort and enjoyment in the use of your car? Here is a book that gives you the se- lections of experts, made after care- ful study and test, and conference with the Bureau of Standards, Washington; Underwriter’s Labora- tories, and other institutions of scientific research. Its conclusions are based, not upon guess or surmise, but on exact knowl- edge. It tells you specifically the exact make of equipment in each in- stance, which after thorough test, these experts believe will give you the best results. It also carries helpful suggestions on “The Care of the Brakes,” “Rules of the Road,” “The Care of Tires,” and other information which, if followed, will prove to be of real value. The book is 5x74” in size, 82 pages profusely illustrated, bound in heavy cover stock. It deserves a place with your “Book of Informa- tion.” Your copy of this book will be sent postpaid on receipt 25c of coin or stamps. WILLIAM GREEN, Inc. 627 West 43d St., New York City _ Old Joshua lived by the mill, His boy stole some cash from the till, And ran down the dale, With Josh on his trail Commanding the son to stand still. The Sporting Old-timer Starts an Argument (Continued from page 11) | thing had to be done to squelch him. He was too cocksure. “Well,” we re- sumed, “maybe Anson was a better batter than Cobb, though I doubt it, but—” “You doubt it, do you?” he repeated. “Well, let me tell you, young feller—” “All right, you win,” we interrupted. No use arguing that over again. There were so many other things to fight about. “But,” we continued, “who ever heard of a base runner like Frankie Frisch in the old days?” This had a startling effect on The Old- timer. He started laughing. Not in the ordinary fashion, though. He roared. We were disconcerted. “Sorry to offend you,” he said, holding his sides, “but | I always appreciate a good joke.” Then | he chortled some more. “When you finish laughing,” was our irritated reply to that, “I wish you'd tell me what’s so goshdarned funny.” “Sure,” he answered. “You just said —ho! ho! if this ain’t rich!—‘whoever heard of a base runner (ho! ho! ho!) like Frankie Frisch in the old days? Ain’t that funny enough? Ho! ho! ho! If this keeps up I’ll get a paralyzed jaw.” “Or a smack on the point of it,” was what we thought, for The Old-timer was beginning to get our goat. But we banished our murder- ous thoughts and simply said: “Well, what’s the matter with Frisch?” “Nothin’,” he replied, “except that he on’y stole | thirty-one bases last year. Say, do you know that Billy Hamilton of the old Philadelphia Nationals stole 102 bases in 1890? I guess you don’t. You don’t look like you do. And, say, what kind of a sport writer are you, any- how? You didn’t even pick the best base runner in the National League. 26 That’s Max Carey, in case you don’t know. He stole fifty-one ses last year. On’y twenty more than. Frisch, that’s all. And Frankie is ‘the Fordham Flash! Flash-in-the pan, maybe!” T was more than we could endure. Frisch is one of our heroes. It was all right for this old geezer to quote damag- ing statistics, but we simply would not stand for our idol being called a flash- in-the-pan. “See here!” we cried, “you can’t get away with that, no, you c-c- »”” Nervous stammering, the result of acute rage, 1 us in its clutch. We tried to finish the sentence but couldn’t. We almost choked. Then decided to choke The Old-timer instead. It was a hot day and it would be easy to tell a story that would evoke the familiar head— HEATED TERM ADDS ANOTHER VICTIM TO ITS LIST Little would they suspect that “heated discussion” was the cause. But before we killed him we wanted to make the old fathead miserable by citing at least one example of modern baseball superiority. So we calmed our itching fingers. For an hour we ransacked our head for statistics. When we ran out of actual ones we made up the figures. It was no use. When we quoted real figures he quoted better ones and when we lied he caught us. Nobody falls for an old-fashioned girl, nowadays. comicbooks.com