Judge — July 7, 1923 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HURCH is a place where we go in C order to cong ulate God on being , zed by us. ‘That is, if it happens to be a church into. which God is admitted. In most of them He has no standing whatsoever. For when man created God he saw to it that God should be alittle lower than His cre Without the churches we would be lost. There would be no place in which to imprison God and tell Him what He thinks about dancing, short skirts, card-playing and Sun- ors. day amusements. Churches civilize man. Before we had churches men used to steal, murder and make A few thousand years We don’t do these things war on a small sca of churches have changed all that. on a small seale any longer. Church is especially good for poor people. Tt gives them a place to go when it rains. The rich are not so dependent on church; they roll their own. You can always tell a church by the trust company it is he kept by. Most churches run a needle factory on the side and the eyes are so large that a whole fleet of camels can pass through. . The church is the house of God, but He doesn’t seem to live there. Perhaps the roof leaks. Without the church man would walk in spiritual darkness; with the church there is plenty of spiritual light. Now all we have to do is take the bandages from our eye: Once there was a community where there was no church at all. and suspicion among the people. So they built several churches, of different denominations, and now they all know what they It was a pretty tough town, There was a lot of hatred hate and why they are suspicions. : -s interested when church conventions are held. Reverend delegates from all over the country get-together and tell cach other the li T have atest: news, hot from heaven. de Lis more confidential with thin men than with fat, and that side-whiskers make Him positively garrulous. He is apt to divulge more of His ideas to old maids than to mothers of families. ne Great problem with all the churches has been how to keep religion out. No matter how hard the churches tried, Of course igion always discovered that it was unwelcome, had, so to speak, come to. the wrong address, and would always swiftly depart; but it was darned annoying. If religion would only take a hint, and stay in the woods and the fields where it belonged . . . but it wouldn't. jigion kept sticking its unwelcome nose around. The latest news, hot from heaven. Then the churches got together and adopted efficienc religion gave up the unequal battle. You can’t expect Hope and Charity to get along in the same edifice with © cieney. They don’t blend. I deny indignantly the charge that the churel. has become the partner of hy business. ‘The thing is too ridiculous. The church may be the confidential secretary of high finance, False allegations like this do infinite harm, and should be opposed and denounced by. all good people. Churches do a great deal of good in foreign lands. A lot of filthy natives, in their equally filthy countr: naked. sionaries bawl hell out of the barbarous sa infidels talk back, and van, and the church tells the Government about it, and we La flock God. Of course, after the sav: but it’s not a partner. go around half- The church sends them missionaries and the mis- ges. The dirty maybe crack a missionary over the of warships to teach those natives how to love sare properly converted and buried where they fell, it's always pleasant to learn that their country has a lot of mineral wealth which will pay us for our loving efforts. It may have cost us a bunch of money to bring God to them, and we have a right to get it back. It makes you wonder, though, why God always scems to travel on a battleship. Sometimes a lot of debased foreigners try to start a new church over here. Occasionally they get away with it, but more frequently the police raid them, and the poor tramps haven't any ni: at home, which shows what a rotten church they have. for the gander. Sauce for the goose, in that case, is apple-sauce vertheless, I'm strong for the church. I'd prefer eeli- gion, but I'll take what I can get, and if I don’t overdo it, it will do me no harm, comicbooks.com