Judge — June 23, 1923 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Ballades of a Dub Smith Recommends Another Ball by ALN. C. Fowler M* DRIVE has grown so 4 short of late My cosmos simply with pain To see my purpose: To greater power to attain Soin my tee-shots I shall gain; And when I can’t expound at all My game’s most recent, try- ing bane Smith recommends another ball. throbs frustrate Then on the greens my Fifty’s gait Won't reach the cup, seems to disdain The sunken rim, to hesitate And die some inches short. Jn vain I try such bungling to explain, And when the darned mean pill won't fall And T wax testy and complain Smith recommends another ball. When later we've had six or eight And grown quite sanguine, in the main, T never then expostulate If he says “il "em up again!” The old bird's right, I must maintain, And his advice shall have the call That echoes through my foggy brain Smith recommends another ball. L'Envoi Smith, long may your good counsels reign That all my senses so enthrall! Le’s stick aroun’ an’ miss th’ train Smith recommends another ball! ate “Tl kiss you good-by until to-morrow.” Just then the clock struck one. “But, John, it is to-morrow!” “Then we can start afresh.” The odd man pays. B" Jones’ score consistently runs into three figures, ciphers not counted. His two sons ptionally players, however, so Jones hit on a pe fectly good idea for impressing new i quaintances. At each introduction would around to golf and, if asked what he ge to bring the conversation usually went) around in, would look thoughtful moment and then truthfully: “Well, we ave around — namir score that w ay the least, ng to his sons’ ability, though greatly to his own credit. Old- timers about the club were on to his scheme and had many a quict laugh on the side when disp: Jones was making an impression, Finally Jones’ wife prev 1on him to teach her the game. Obediently, if un- willingly, he undertook He was showing her how to approach at her instruction. the second. green which, unfortunately, was near the road, when two old. club members drove by in a car and, seeing what was goin, out of the « “Hey, Bill, the rand vindictively goes the old average! things aren’t always what they seem. 9 A Golf Fiend’s Psalm of Life Dedicated to Men Who Neglect Their Families for Golf by Mary Mosher Allen M ust we haggle o'er duties 4 neglecte With a sister, or sweetheart or wife, Wlien\tliese some are!only our women And our golf's the real rea- son for life? For they never can get the right viewpoint, Yet they mean well, these dear fam'ly ties. But how hopeless and dull their perceptions Of man’s need for this game’s exercise. Though fair honors or houris surround us, h of a star of the screen, This old earth has no thrill it can offer Like a sixteen-foot putt on a green, We'll let thrones rise or totter about us; J let friends, wives, desert us at will. Vexing trifles are life’s incident The real thing is that white ubber pill. It’s a noble old game for a lifetime. Even then the fun’s only begun. When we come to the end of carth's fairway We are bound, boys, to hole out in one. And then think of the joys of the future! When we drive off on Heaven's first tee, With a stance and direction both perfect And that game lasts through eternity. Endless drives with a heavenly drive Perfect form, with a heart light as foam; Perfect scores; perfect days with good fellows, And we never shall have to go home! comicbooks.com