Judge — June 16, 1923 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The former gardener forgets himself. The Flivver Road Guide by Frank I. Williams Mrnnets TO» Sanppit, 22 miles. 4 Straight through Mudhole past Rolls Rough mired near city hall over Sinkhole Road to broken down Hefty car, 5.6 miles. ‘Turn left at) broken down Hefty car and straight ahead through mud up to the hubs of the car to Muddy Lake, miles. Straight through Muddy Lake to Wipe-Off-Timer stop. Give the merry ha, ha to expensive cars stuck in the lake, offer assistance which will be haughtily refused and turn right into Mud Bath detour. Straight ahead on Mud Bath detour to Sandpit. Total time, somewhat less than covering the same distance on a concrete pavement. ndpit to Alpsville, 314 miles. migh Sandpit past millionaire. cz churning up sand by side of road getting nowhere to Sand Wallow Road, 1.1 miles. Straight ahead on Sand Wal- low Road. Worried — Aristocrat tourists stuck at 2.3 miles, stage race with brother flivver and pull into town of Stuckville at usual rate of speed. Stop at Stuckville, 12.5 m to view 'Yy consisting of high-priced cars lined up at repair shop waiting for repair work which will enable them to stagger onward a few miles. I Stuckville by Deepsand Road amid envious glances of stuck big boat owners. Enter Alpsville ahead of express train leaving Sandpit at same time vou did. Alpsville to Homeville, 15.8 miles. Leave Alpsville by Mountain Gorge Ro: Climb Skyscraper Mountain, 18,792 feet, 5.2 miles; Bigger Yet Mountain, feet, at 6.8 mil pass through nt mountzin stream at 10.1 mile go right ahead over road strewn with remains of avalanche d 2 miles, descend ice field at 14.2 miles into Homeville. Time for the entire distance, not quite as good as record breaking speedway time. as “Taxi, sir?” “Call me a surtavi,” directed the mag- nate briefly. Pd Farmer Haystack—What did the Court do with that derned cuss Simpkins? Attorney—The Grand Jury indicted him fer grand larceny. “The Grand Jury is all right, but what was gran | about the larceny?” ee i s—Were you. ever sick? Biggs—I never could afford anything only the toothache. Folks by Edgar Daniel Kramer I HAVE ever gathered wisdom, As I've wandered up and down; ow I know that bricks and mortar Never really make a town; Though there are no lofty buildings. Though the street cars may be jokes, I may fall hard for a jay When I get to know the folks. Although Bagdad-on-the-Subway Is forever on the go, You may laugh, but I remember When it struck me as quite slow; I would stroll back to my quarters, When the workaday would end, Just a lonely stranger dreaming Of the handelasp of a friend. night me gladness; But the years have bi New York and Chi Are the pl As are Oshkosh and And no matter where [ journey ‘Frisco, Galveston, Twin Oaks, I have learned to like the places, When I've learned to know the folks. Ralad “Strange,” remarked the — assistant publisher of the “Motor Purple Volume,” heard of this magnificent hotel Isn't it named in the book?” ‘ertainly not!” replied the business manager, who was his traveling com- panic They wouldn't buy an inch of space ery “How did you feel at the dentist's this morning?” “Almost bored to death.”