Judge — June 2, 1923 — page 19: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

STORIES TO TELL JUDGE weekly for the ¢ ar ratca.” Original, unpub- lished humorous atorica only are wanted. Ad- dreee “Storia to Tell Editor,” Judge, 62? Weat sid Street, New York City beat atory aub- d beat, pays 810 Firat Prize wre belc pngs to de Lawd?" shouted preacher. of de colored Army the in the back seat jumped up and “To what branch of de army do you “To de Baptist.” “Get out, yo? don’t belong to de army, yo" belongs to de navy.” “. Second Prise HE HILLS of Calhoun County Virginia, are noted for their si \ tourist from some Western State driving along one day when he eame upon in the road just ahead of the car. The driver stopped the car and helped the native to his feet. “What's the matter my good friend, an automobile hit’ you?" inquired the tourist. “Hell, no!” replied the native, to a cornfield above the road. makes the third time I'v there corn patch this 3 a West oness. was a man struggling pointing fell out of that re Axe Westerner was traveling with £2 an Eastern friend, who was on his first trip through a well-known Pacific » train left a certain city, the suddenly asked, “Are the miners in this district on strike?” “No. Why do you ask?” sentry box on that hill there!” answered the Westerner with iat’s not a sentry box. That's Capitol.” feeling, * our State A STRANGER visiting a little village in a Scotch settlement for the first: time was surprised to find two large Presby- terian churches facing each other on the main street. He sought enlightenment of a passing native. “What was the two big churches this siz he would accommodate reason for building the same religion in a asked. “Surely, the the es, you're right,” admitted stranger. "One would be plenty enough, but there’s two different classes of Presbyterians in this place and so th ad to have two churches. What’s the difference in their religious views?” “Well, so far as I can find out,” the native, “one bunch believes that Adam got bad after he » that there apple while the other bunch is convince he was a darned rascal from the start.” drawled T A CAMP MEETING held in a Southern £Y State many of the people attended the services barefooted. One evening, in response to an altar call, a tall farmer knelt at the “mourners’ bench.” A near-sighted preacher kneeling behind “Their wedding present.” 17 entire “ fect and. placing solemnly: him noticed his bare his hands on the heels said “God bless these little boys!” Sauno and Rastus were sitting under na bench talking. * Rastus as dat flying around my. hi “Why, dat am a’ hoss_ fly.” “A hoss fly? What am di “Dat ama fly dat buzzes “You all don’t mean to ’sinuate T’se a don’t’ mean to ’sinuate anything, but you-all can’t fool a hoss fly.” What am around ry offices of a New England port, a young fellow was ahead of me. He wanted tickets for New York, and I waited while he went anxiously over the ship’s diagram and asked innumerable questions. Rooms ranged from two dollars up to a very respectable figure, but nothing seemed good cnough—he wanted only the best and was going to be sure he got it. The clerk and L were wearied with his pro- crastination bat such feeling vanished when he confided that he was being married the next day, that this was to be the honeymoon trip. Finally he decided upon the most luxurious suite and the weighty transaction seemed to he over. But as I stepped up to the window he came dashing back. “We'll be coming back next week,” he explained, “and I might as well get the tickets now. Let's have one of the two dollar rooms.” STEAMSHIP hase comicbooks.com