Judge, 1923-05-19 · page 8 of 36
Judge — May 19, 1923 — page 8: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# "Told at the 19th Hole" — Judge Magazine Golf Satire This is a humorous golf article by Walter Trumbull in *Judge* magazine, featuring commentary on golf culture at exclusive clubs like Blind Brook in New York. The "19th hole" refers to the clubhouse bar where golfers gossip after play. The satire mocks various golf absurdities: golfers' irrational fear of the cup despite fearlessness elsewhere; the futility of indoor winter practice; the inconsistency of professional golf instruction (6,000 pros, 6,000 different techniques); and commuters whose longest "drive" is from the train station to the course. A recurring joke proposes standardizing "golf club throwing" as an Olympic sport, satirizing both golfers' club-tossing tantrums and the era's enthusiasm for Olympic standardization. Other quips address the 19th hole's popularity (playing that hole first to avoid locker theft) and Walter Hagen's advice about head control during swings—with a humorous retort about controlling one's *own* head position. The cartoons show golfers in various situations on the course, illustrating the text's observations about typical club culture and behavior.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
©Edwin Levick. Blind Brook Golf Club, New York. One of the most exclusive and best run clubs in the world. TOLD AT THE 19th HOLE by Walter Trumbull HEN biting winter breezes blow And there are only balls of snow Upon the course where golf balls sprout In warmer times, we have no doubt That practice on the parlor floor Will bring, when summer comes once more, A better game and lower score. But now that new cut grass is seen Stretching away from tee to green, That roses bloom and robins sing And sand traps yawn and golfers swing, We find our game continues punk And that our scoring hasn’t shrunk. This indoor practice is the bunk! * * * Our idea is that the entire rough should be covered with mosquito netting. Then a man could see the tear where his ball had gone through and might have a chance to find it. + * * G alls are queer. Ordinarily one might conclude that they reckless courage. They will dive lake, leap from a clit or enter dark and gloomy woods without a second’s hesitation. — But they the cup complex. A golf | is desperately afraid of the cup. Try to drive one toward it and it will duck and dodge, run way beyond it, or hang trembling on the lip. All courage has its blind. spot. * * * possess into a The mashie approach, properly played, probably cuts down the more than any shot in the The » several ways of playing : » shot properly. Of the 6,000 professionals in this country 6,000 play it differently. * + + At many clubs the longest drive is from the station to the course, score rpms in sheltered s In their beds the: Sweet old-fashioned faces Lifted to the sky. Near the lilies slender, Roses proud and tall, Pansies soft and tender— Loveliest of all. * * * Don’t conclude that you know a man’s game after watching him drive. Wait until you see him putt. What shall you do about it? We only have three hours, so we shall play one hole and then catch the train back to town. * * * In these days it is considered so danger- ous to leave anything in a locker that many golfers play the nineteenth hole first. * + * We ponder, as we long to sce Across the turf a running shot How fair the month of May may be For golfers; but it may be not. WHY NOT A COURSE FOR THE KIDS? A suggestion to Country Clubs for teaching the young idea to shoot. HERE is one event which we believe that the Olympic committee shoul: standardize and include in the games is throwing the golf club. matters now stand there are no set 's for this event. We have seen sony men for whom records are claimed thro: the club at the end of a considerable run This is manifestly unfair. The throwers should be limited to a seven foot circle and to three turns And direction should count equally wit! distance. Golf is a game of both dis' and direction. Chucking a club into the rough should count more than merely hurling it dows the fairway, where it can be found with out difficulty. Hurling it into the middk of a pond should be good for more points than just skimming it along the edg Hitting a caddy should be of more v than bouncing a club off a tree. But the main thing is to get a uniform set of rules. * * * ALTER HaGEN says, “When you sev golfer starting the club head at top speed, or with a jerk, can know that he is headed for trouble Yes, and when you see a golfer starting his own head back at top speed, or with a jerk, you can know that he is headed for trouble. * * * A good way for a golfer to keep his head down is to grow a boil on the back of his neck, or else to grow a long beard and stand on it while he shoots. * * * No little animals need fh Our sure and deadly aim, For as a sporting golfer we Just shoot the biggest game. * * * It doesn’t follow when a golfer comes in at three in the morning that he will go out in low figures. * * ¢ O of the best known golf balls is the “chameleon ba This litth sphere the power of taking on the color of its surroundings. It can hid itself in the middle of a fairway, shaking with silent laughter as its frantic owner maintains that he saw exactly where it lit. Or it can sit up on the sand of a trap unseen until a player happens to step on it, thereby getting a good lie. If it ever escapes into. the rough it is gone forever. The only way to keep track of it is to put a gold chain around its neck and attach it toa pin. + * & If they would put the greens where the traps are and the traps where the greens are a few of us would have a chance to improve our game. + * «* During April, this season, many Northern golfers were off their game owing to their inability to do their best on skis.