Judge — April 21, 1923 — page 28: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Aspirin Say “Bayer” and Insist! Unless you see the name “Bayer” on! package or on tablets you are not get-| genuine Bayer product pre- physicians over twenty-two afe by millions for ting the scribed by years and proved Colds soot hache Earache Headache Lumbago a Rheumatism Neuralgia Pain, Pain Accept “Bayer Tablets of Aspirin” only. Each unbroken package contains proper directions. Handy boxes of twelve tablets cost few cents. Drug- gists sell bottles of 24 and_ 100. Aspirin the trade mark of Bayer M cf of Monoaceticacidester of is nent Solitaire Cluster ent and Sant for only $2! By retarn mat blue-white Dia~ em solitaire, weig . Green ‘Gold hand Sitietics ~ carved and delicately engraved. | No risk—no delay—transac- ice $54.56. tions strictly confidential. Send for FREE Diamond Book enone eee Geass owes soe THE HOUSE OF QUALITY 1650-1660 BROADWAY, NEW YORK. INVENTORS items should write tor our guide book, “HOW TOCET YOUR PATE Send model or sketch and description and we will give our opinion of its patentable nature RANDOLPH & CO., 789 ‘*F”” Washington, D.C. Adit “MADE AT KEY WEST— OF BRAINS LZ) FOR g MEN gj OF BRAINS | WITH THE COLLEGE WITS Irrepressible, Joyous, Irresponsible “Brown is certainly robbing the cradle.” “How’s that?” “Why, that Freshman rushing proved to be el the psychology test.”—Kansas “Did you hear that woman straphanger?” “Oh, yes, it’s a standing joke.” —Cornell Widow. story of the ry Farmer (to stranded autoist)—How’d you get the puncture? Autoist—Ran over a chicken with pin feathers—Notre Dame Juggler. Catal He—Honey, would you love me as much if I told you I had sold the Stutz? She—You didn’t, did you? ‘ertainly I would, darling.”—Penn- sylvania Punch Boul. He—You promised to love me. Now you turn me down. You said you alw wanted to be with me in everything. ! I'm going to drown my sorrows with liquor. She—Of course I want to be with you | in everything.—Carnegie Puppet. te Traveler—I often wondered why the inglish were such tea-hounds. Friend—Yes. “Yeah, but I know now. I had some of their coffee—Nebraska Awgawan. Ph hal Stands she there and gaily chatters Of refreshments built for two, Wonders he, with two lead nickels, How to bluff the evening through. —Northwestern Purple Parrot. 26 CALLED on ni tie last night; Her father was out at the club, Her mother was out at the theater, Her kid brother was out at a party, Her kid sister was out with a chum, The parlor lights were out— She was out with another fellow— I was out ten cents wi . Voo Doo. eat First Loafer—I hear all the men have gone on a strike. Second Loafer—What have they struck horter hours.” “Luck to ’em. TI allus did say that y minutes was too long for an hour.” —Pitt Panther. sae First Collector— short ten y, this pile of bills is 1 you and I are th: only ones who have been near it. Second Collector—Let’s both put in five dollars and say nothing more about it.— Michigan Gargoyle. od Fresh (with deep fecling)—I want to do something big and ¢ Soph—Go wash an elephant.—Okla- homa Whirlwind. sae Rufroot—What makes Harriette so popular? Bruyere—When a fellow calls, she asks him a riddle, then keeps him in the dark all evening.—Chicago Phoenix. eed Scientists have at last discovered that the only difference between a pauper and a millionaire is $1,000,000.—IWashington Sun Dodger. Kit—He may be no good, but he cer- tainly has money to burn. Kat—Well, I never suffered with the heat when I was out with him. —Williams Purple Cow.