Judge — April 21, 1923 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

O™ EVENING as we jabbered thus, the plute came in the store, to buy a sparkplug for his bus, which missed fire at the door. “Come up, you grouches,” he exclaimed, “and have some smokes on me!” And, feeling tawdry and ashamed, we each took two or three. And none rebuked him for his roll or for his rich attire, and none assured him that his soul was bound for lakes of fire. We all stood there, a sickly bunch, a sight », and felt like dogs a lunch of some poor farmer's . For none of us had nerve enough ak while we had time, and say that y’s. the stuff, that wealth’s a beastly crime. erry Going to the Circus by Norman Anthony ne crrevus, like Christmas and the income tax, comes but once a year, and gives the fond parent a chance to inhale the exotic atmosphere of the tan- bark. But like the aforementioned items: the circus is a serious business and should only be approached after much deliber- ation and thought. It is advisable for the fond parent who is contemplating taking the little ones to the circus. to arrange in advance a day and half off from the office. While the circus itself takes but half a day it will take father at least a day to get rit. Of course the problem involved depends entirely on the number of children, which is in inverse ratio to the helpfulness of “What’s wrong with that guy?” “Sh-h! He's the announcer!” st this little article. In cases where there are more than five, the parent is beyond help and said parent contemplating such hazardous expedition should be examined at once by a psycopath. Before’ starting on the journey the first requisite is a coil of good manila rope such as is used in Alpine climbing. This is for the purpose of holding the children firmly together and to. avoid losing them in the crowd. Some parents become so confused that they find upon leaving the arena that they have in tow two tigers, an elephant and a in place of the original four children. This might add a touch of fun to the ae... occasion but would cause quite a bit of excitement. to mother, as she would naturally wonder what to do with them in case of croup or mange. After tying the children firmly together and taking all their pocketknives so they cannot free themselves, the first thing to do is to pack the First Aid kit with bandages, arnica, ete. — Excite- ment often causes hiccoughs, so the parent - a pitcher of ice water and gn administer nine drops to each child, or children, as the case may x». With four children this would mean thirty-six drops. It will most likely be “children,” as this complaint is invariably contagious. If the water cure fails, a sturdy slap on the back will sometimes suffice, and as the rope holds the child or children firmly in’ place this can be given with sufficient force to cure any- thing. Most young ones suffer from colds, especially around circus time, so it is well to carry an embroidered handkerchief hag so as not to get them mixed up. large bottle of paregoric should be carried in the hip pos as this will probably have to be called into use after the seventh bag of peanuts. A bottle of a different nature in the other pocket will help father through the day, but he should be careful not to get them mixed, as alcohol stunts the growth of children. it is claimed, needs airs of shoes annually.” age wife needs a lot of things y} 4 \ \ WS SNS Stout Lady—Little boy, could you get me a glass of water? “Nuthin’ doin’. I'm done waterin’ elephunts.” 15 comicbooks.com