Judge — April 7, 1923 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

INSULT TO INJURY Flivver Owner—Hey, kid, you mustn’t fasten your pup to my car! Little Amos—Aw, what's eatin’ you? dog’s tail! Over the Nut Sundae by H.C. Murphy “y Tuy do you say that 'ma friend of the bootleggers just be I was in favor of the Volstead Act? Crabbe asked with some heat. “My dear Crabl I replied, “My in making t statement is abso- lutely uncontrovertible. It is exactly the same kind of logie that many an ardent. devotee of prohibition has often applied for the purpose of reaching the conclusion that Iam a ‘friend of the low saloon with its concomitants the gambling hell and the brothel upstair: The method of reasoning is absolutely simple, as you might expect. It runs like this: “If there were no liquor, wines, or beer, there would be no saloons. If there were no saloons there would »w saloons.” If there were no low saloons, there would be no gambling dens or brothels in con- ion with the low saloons. cfore, a aid, anyone who believes that it is justifiable to per- mit the sale of intoxicating liquors is friend of the ‘low’ saloon.’ t’s very simple. . by the same token, if there were no Volstead Act there would be no occasion for anyone to te the law by selling liquor, just as, if there were no. saloons there would be no occasion for anyone to violate the law by running all kinds of disreputable and illegal adjunets to a saloon. If th pre_no_ occasion for anyone to sell liquor illegally there would be no bootleggers.. Therefore, any- one who believes in the Volstead Act is friend of the bootleggers. Isn't it simph “What marvelous logic! Are you per- ined by the ‘liquor interests’? haps r Cri $s sarcasm was heavy. ‘ indeed, I am retained by the ‘liquor interests’ just. as Iam proved to he ‘a friend of the low saloon with its concomitants, the gambling hell and the Sallie Duck—Some people simply don’t look well dressed no matter what they have on! 5 Some one tied the bloomin’ thing to my brothel upstairs,” just as you, my friend idently retained by the bootleggers. Ih, comenow, don’t be absolutely silly.” “My dear Crabbe, ’'m not being silly at all. I am figuratively convicted of being an advocate for the ‘liquor inter- ests’ because I intimated that I be- lieve the Volstead Act is a bit of intoler- able tyranny. The theory upon which my conviction is based is, of course, the admitted fact that if there were no Vol- stead Act the manufacturers and market- crs of intoxicating liquor would profit financially. “By identical methods of reasoning ing you with being an ad- e for the bootleggers because you havedeclared that youare heart- ily in favor of the Volstead Act. My theory is based on the fact ad- on the statute books, the bootleggers are reaping profits. | As I re a while ago, it’s very simple “But you know I'm not a friend of the bootleggers, T hate them.” “But you know I’m not a friend of the ‘low saloon,’ T hate it “But you'r inst the Volstead Act.” But you're in favor of the Vol- stead Act.” “Oh, well, T “t argue with a man who is in or of saturating the nation with Rum.” comicbooks.com