Judge — April 7, 1923 — page 29: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“Y~ Mister Monk—Miss Hippo, you are wanted on the wire! THE BRIGHT SIDE by Walt Mason and am as happy as two kings; and every day some fellow cries, “How «do you do it? Put me wise! You've hung around this worst of spheres for maybe ninety-seven years; my grandsire k ~ he has told, and you were then nd still we see you on this you chortle in your mirth, while younger men curl up and die; so tell me now the reason why.” “Just now,” I said, “you jarred my ears by speaking of this worst of spheres; if you to that opinion hold, if this good world you roast and scold, you'll be a 1 and weary jay before the ye: I aALways make the best of things, miss my guess—that this bright world program is to whoop and make the best of every- is a success; my and sing thing, and put my sorrows in a can, bea gay and blithe old man; so I ret an evergreen, as full of pep as gasoline, while younger men who hunt for woe are planted in a churchyard row.” Wiss I was in the arctic zone the imos would sigh and groan. “This climate is the worst!” they wailed; “the sharks who made it should be jailed. Who would not weep and stand aghast, his whiskers frozen in the blast? We go for water with an ax, and lug it hon ward on our backs; our noses we must pack in hay, and thaw our cars three times day.” I stopped my loping polar bear, and said, “Why yield to grim despair? Just view your wealth of snow and ice, a luxury beyond. all price! It’s here, lelivered at. your doors, and in your wailings you are bores. On far Sahara's Bedouin ing over | his mouth | drifting sands the — sizzling chieftain stands; the sun is 1 all; he has no fan or parasc is parched, his back is fried, he’s Ii Vesuvius inside; and he would give most any price to have a sample of your ice. In dreams he roams the polar shore and wades in snow forevermore. Oh, count your blessings, you cheap skates, for you are mental featherweights if you can look on all this snow, and still put up a shriek of woe.” And then T spurred and hit the icy thorougl foaming bear, [> Arties inate people said, “Dod. shines o’erhead ast. the sun that simply frying in our grease. country is the limit, sure; all kinds of | grief we here endure; the trees are cook- | ing where they grow, the brooks are | salve by night.” I tied my warthog to a fence, and You fellows have no sense. This climate I desire; no janitor need build a fire; no coal man comes with monthly bills to clean the boodle from your tills. I just have come from arctic shores where every hour a blizzard roars, and people sit on bergs and floes and | to thaw out frozen toes; what would | they give, Oh, Mike and Pete, for sessions with this kindly heat? Oh, count your blessings, tinhorn guys! How fortunate the man who fries!” vaulted on my warthog then, and went cavorting down the glen, and as I sped by copse and bri aughter made the echoes wake. | ‘SUPREMACY IND MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS: Quality Warlitzerinstruments are known the world quality and excellence of workmanship. They are used by the greatest. musician are playing on Warlitzer instra- ments. Wurlitzer is the world’s greatest mu- sic house, with stores and dealers same service by mail as though you were next door tothe factory. J AtOur Expense You may now have any known musical instru- ment for a week's free trial in your own home. Play it as much as you wish. See how easy it is to learn. There is no obligation to buy — no ex- pense for trial. You may return the instrument at the end of a week if you decide not to keep it. Easy Payments If you decide to buy, the Wurlitzer plan makes it easy for you to own the instrument you want. Payments are conveniently arranged in small monthly sums —a few cents a day will pay. Special combination offers on complete outfits —velvet lined ca: all accessories, self-instruc- tor, etc.— everything you need at practically the cost of the instrument alone. ever published—o' Jes— every known instrument described and illustrated; many of them shown in full colors, Gives you lowest prices and ali details of the Wurlitzer plan. The Rudolph Wurlitzer Co., Dept. 2384 117 E, 4th St., Gcinnati 329 So. Wabash Ave, Chicago 120 W. 42nd St., New York — 250 Stockton St., San Francisco Send me, absolutely free, your new illustrated cata~ log of musical instruments. Also tell me how I may try any instrument in my own home at your expense and how the Wurlitzer Plan makes it easy for me to ‘No obligation. boy. Instrument ... (State instram