Judge — April 7, 1923 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

New Profession [STORIES TO TELL Ty.c22isustornes f Attracts Many Public Welfare Service Proves Popular Field T last this country seems to be A up to one of its gravest dan nd most serious loss A_ nation-wide movement is now under way to supplement the work of conservation, sanitation and extermination started by the Departments of Agriculture and Forestry a few y ago. The the Exterminating Engineers of This organization has recently made re- markable discoveries in this field, and now, in order to meet the tremendous demand for its successful, scientific methods, it is selecting a limited number of men from every section of the country, training them by mail in its newly ered methods, and starting them in business for themselves as local representatives of the Exterminating Engineers of America. Men from every walk in life are attracted to this dignified, patriotic pre fession. A new untouched field, it offers ambitious man a most unusual oppor- In a few weeks, without capital or previous experience, working through the oxterminating Engineers of America, he an become established in a thriving, pro- fessional business of his own where there are big rewards and no com- petition. Representatives of this organiza- tion, established in this profession, are earning from $60 to over $300 a week. movement is under the direction of America being an tunity Recent government reports show billion dollar property year from damage done by insects and pests of all descriptions. Investigations indicate that practically every office, hotel, ware- house, ship, farm and private dwelling suffers seriously from some species of pest or vermin. Thousands of specialists are needed to handle this public welfare service Local representatives are wanted in this nity. Full information about — the Society’s work, t »pportunities this new field and how men are quickly to enter it, is given in an interest- »klet which will be mailed free to anyone who will write for it. Address The Exterminating Engineers of America, Dept. 64, 45 W. 16th St., New York Ci MEN OF BRAINS IGARS “MADE AT KEY WEST.— AUTOSUGGESTION subjects. Coug's latest books and others. FOR Columbus Circle, New York BRINGS YOU GENUINE UNDERWOOD TYPEWRITER Standard Underwoods, fac. Actual reproduction tory rebuilt and guaranteed © @f Shipman- Ward for FIVE YEARS. Rebuilt Underwood. a business | a two | and crop loss last | JUDGE pays $10 weekly for the beat story sub- mitted for this page, and 85 for the second best. Il others at regular ra Original, un pub- lished humorous stories only are wanted. Ad- Stories to Tell Editor,” Judge, 627 Weat $id Street, New York City. dress * waking | First Prize | A Youxe sas owas keeping company 42 with the daughter of a minister, and was frequently at the house t« I had a bad habit of helping himself to food before grace. One night, in saying | grace, the minister varied it a little, said: “For what we are about to rec let us be thankful. For what the young man has_alre received, let us be | doubly thankful. | sas | A POPUrar rector, going up the steps 42 of his church to conduct service, was accosted by a stately old lady difficulties with her bre: | “Pardon me,” she said, “but would you do me the favor of assisting me up the step: “Certainly, madam,” rector, giving her his arm. ul |the door, when the old pausing, Jasked: “Pardon me ot but do you know who is preaching this morning?” “The rector, madam.” ‘Oh! Then might I beg you to do me yet another fav “Certainly,” repli else can I do for you “Would you be me down the steps ¢ in assented The. jad | reed Ree lunch hour the 4 negro janitors would | gather at some particular recess and there would endeavor to tell greater lies than their neighbors. On this particular instance a new janitor, who had traveled far as Clar- \enceville, a distance of twenty miles, had been admitted into the fold. He described encounters with |monsters and devils that made the bravest shrink. “Well,” he concluded, “Ah none uv yo" niggahs has done sump- thin’ wurf whil An old hand spoke up. |“Ah’s hui ted fo’ gold, lemnly. An’ where?” “Oh, wunce when Ah swept a dentist’s office.” rer as guess wo business men were having a confab when }a third appeared on the | scene of action. “T say, Bill, settle argument, will you?” “What's the row?” “Should a man use per- |fumi ry of any sort?” “Well, a trace of gaso- line is permissible.” 18 ing the sermon on two conse So after service finally he who accompanied the vestry. “My boy, who is that « man you attend church wit “Grandpa.” “Well, if you will keep him awak during my sermon I'll give you a nick cach we For the next two weeks the old gentle- man was attentive to the sermon. The third week, however, found him soundl asleep again. The vexed clergyman sent f« “Didn't you promise to keep | if I paid you a nickel a week?” “Yes, but grandpa now gives me a dime not to disturb him.” tots Jerly genth the boy. awake N American lady went to Scotland L% to visit some friends. When sli returned, she brought one of her friends with her. As thi neared New York, the American lady said: “In a little while we will see Sandy Hook.” “Oh,” said her Scotch friend. “Do not tell me when, because I am sure 1 would know a Scotchman, anywhere ste An arMER asked a boy who had_ just LY graduated from high school what the head of the class was called. The young graduate attempted to explain that the who made the highest average was the valedictorian, and that the one who made the next highest aver- age was the salutatorian, “Well,” said the farmes Are they sisters? one “that’s pretty |