Judge — March 24, 1923 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

WITH THE COLLEGE WITS Irrepressible, Joyous, Irresponsible “Don’t you think my apartment is much nicer than Alice’s?” “Tut, tut, Martha! It’s bad form to match quarters.” —Yale Record. “Have a sardine sandwich, Jack? “Do you mind if I count the gold- fish first?”—Brown Jug. Freshman Credo I BELIEVE I lend dignity and respect to this green cap. Were I to leave it off no one would suspect me of being a freshman. believe that, being a freshman, I should study my As upper- classman I can then go through on my momentum, I believe my professors are more inter- ested in their work than in their salari otherwise they would quit teaching do something to make money. I believe Northwestern has the highest average of beauty outside of my high school graduating class. I believe I shall go far in college, with my high school standing, tenth in my class (of eleven) and with my experience scretary of the Aniateurian Literary ve I am easily distinguished, even in a crowd of freshmen, by my supe- rior polish and my intellectual, pur- poseful appearance. I believe I am the berries. —Northwestern Purple Parrot. tae “Did you give him a cordial welcome?” “Yeh, mor’n ‘at. I gave him some welcome cordial.”"—Wesleyan Wasp. Delightful Dances sses that are never kissed, 1 poets sing, are sweetest, And opportunities we've missed Must ever seem the meetest. But this is true, whate’er may mar The rest of Fate’s bright chances, ‘The dances that we sit out are The most delightful dances. —Cornell Widow. Prarad Scalped As they do it in New York $1 and up. Permission to touch, 50 and up. Glimpse of date, $2 and up. Price and up. Location. Anywhere in the second hale Dartmouth Jack o° Lantern. tet “Tis better to keep silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.”—Utah Humbug. eae j ‘ TT | “Waiter, this steak is so tough I can’t cut it.” “Very good, sir. I'll bring you an- other knife, sir.’—Columbia Jester. 24 Every Man His Just Dessert T= orator eats tongue, we hear, The Sultan, turkey lunch, The undertaker drinks his bier. The pugilist his punch. The acrobats spring water drink, The banquet man eats toast, Surveyors eat their stakes, we think, And editors a roast. Shoemakers h: fillet of sole, The printer, pie and sweets, The hungry actor eats his réle. Policemen munch their be: —Wisconsin Octopus. #. T E speaker waxed eloquent, and after his peroration on women’s rights lx said, “When they take our girls, as the threaten, away from the coeducational colleges, what will follow? What will follow, I repea And a loud nm audience replied, Brown Bull. sculine voice in th I will."—Kansas A Jim—Helen reminds me of a chess game. Mac—How's that? “She plays with thirty-seven men at one time.”—Princeton Tiger. ttt “And, father,” said the coed, praising Michigan ideals and men, ou can't © how charitable the Michigan No, daughter, I have never heard of their being that way. What have they don Well, they have taken care of y darling | daughter, father." —Michii Gargoyle. aia Prof—Did I sa crux of the position Bright Stude—No, sir. “Hum! I meant to work that phrase off somehow.” —Columbia Jester. anything about the was He kissed her, Not because he loved her Not because she owned a roadster Not because she paid the bills— But that girl wore the sweetest rouge! —Notre Dame Juggler. sae She—There isn’t a single man that T cally care for. He—That's all Shall we sit down? right. I'm married. Denver Parrakeet. * ave quit calling preseription’s The dancing fellows ‘em subscription the word.—Virginia Reel. ICES; comicbooks.com