Judge — March 24, 1923 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Firat Prize Dorror Oswaiy Harrison Viruarp 4 said at an advertising men’s ban- quet in New Yor! “Business men are flighty. They have erazes. What a ludicrous craze scientific management was. “Scientific management was like the old farmer in the malarial swamp district of Maryland. ~The farmer’s son withdrew his knife from his mouth one morning, pushed his f pie back wearily and said: yp. my chill’s a-comin’ on.’ “Be she? said the farmer, as he rose briskly. ‘Wal, hold her jest-a minute till I get the churn fixed up fer ye.” rd Second Prize N OLD Darky Warren had served a modest but quite perfect lunch to two elderly and thrifty looking guests. He had inquired how each dish suited their taste, whether it had been seasoned properly, if it was hot enough or sufli- ciently chilled The ‘check was presented at the close of the meal. It came to $3.40. One of the guests glanced over it and placed a five dollar bill on the tra The waiter disappeared, all smiles, and returned with the change—a dollar bill, a fifty cent piece und a dime. He put the tray at the guest’s elbow and waited, doubtfully. He watched the dollar bill slowly with- drawn and then, after a painful’ pause, the fifty cent piece. The tray, with its lonely dime was shoved toward him. He picked it up, looked at it sadly and gave a long sigh. Boss,” he lost.” “T gambled and I said, ttt oun Nicuoas Berrer tells an a J lutely true story of one Charlie a Chinese laundryman in a bustling rail- road junction town in Idaho, Foo is suffering from wounded faith. For years. he had been favorably known in the community for his trusting nature. One day when business was dull Charlie was Visited by a tall stranger with a black mustache, ¢ y gold watch chain, 2 thirst, and a secret need for two dollars. Hemade thisproposal to theChinaman: For two dollars, cash in advance, he would arrange to obtain for Charlie the exclu- sive privilege of washing the mayor's shirt, and would have Charlie’s name painted in large red letters in the n corridor of the city hall. Charlie’s ambitions got the best of him, and he 1 over the money. ext day the laundryman went down to the city hall to look upon his em- blazoned cognomen, But the red letters were not there. So he carried his indig- nation into the mayor's office... and ed that the mayor didn’t have any shirt! Ree A(Sew arrival at a Western ranch was LY persuaded to) mount a_ bucking horse. He was scarcely on the animal's back before he was off again over the horse’s head. “What's the matter? timer who picked him up. “Why, she bucked,” said the tender- foot. *Bucked,” returned — the — other, “Bucked, go on, she only coughed.” Pd I ite Harrier was very fond of cake 4 and when I told her she'd ruin’ her stomach if she ate any more she said: “But, Aunty, who will ever see it with all these clothes on?” asked the old- wes our revered Lincoln was a struggling young lawyer in Spring- ficld, IIL, without even a dream of ever becoming President of the United States, he purchased an extensive law library from a famous publisher in Boston and by a prodigious effort promptly met the payments on his library until finally the last installment was liquidated. At that time a certain irresponsible, shyster lawyer in Springfield wrote this same firm asking for same terms given Mr. Lincoln. Having great faith in Lincoln's exorable honesty, this firm wrote Lincoln concerning the purchase of law $ desired. Mr. Lincoln promptly forwarded the following reply: “Gentleme! arty you inquire about has a small office on the third floor. He has a pasteboard sign on the first pair of rs, a pasteboard sign on the second pair of stairs, a pasteboard sign on the third pair of stairs. In_ his office he has one box he sits on, one box he spits in, one box he writes on, and over in one corner, there is a large rat hole that will bear lool:ing into. “Yours, “A. Lincoun.” ww al eee “She has an inferiority complex.” “Is it a sedan?” comicbooks.com