Judge — March 10, 1923 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

WITH WHICH IS COMBINED Vr LESLIE'S WEEKLY 7 V4 ( The Mystery of the Cafeteria by Gordon Seagrore wus introduced I'd found him shy— A very cogent reason why His modest note I then should eye With animation. The burden of his bashful line Was that he wished to have me dine With him—no doubt where bright lights shine An invitation! I wore my duvetyn, chic, but grave, My purple hat which always gave The men a thrill (a few would ri In mild vendetta). He blushed when I hove into view, Remarking, “This is sweet of you.” And then—Great Scott! He took me to A caferetta! He handed me an eight-foot tray And let me fight and claw my way Past lowly bean, past pea soufflé And sickly salad. Between the onions and the shad He told me what a heart he had And wooed me plaintive voiced and sad While T grew pallid. Outraged, I viewed the simple wight And thought with r 7 ee what a sweet delight Td murder him that es _ Very night Ww Nor e’er bemoan it. ty, N.Y Then sweeter than the flute or spinnet, And sweeter than the thrush or linnet: “This plac twenty | earns uns a ‘Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness” Kluckster—1 1 about to be m their license? Biddle ‘y’ve got one of them, “One! They don’t need more than Mary and John are id. Have they got “Yes, they do. They're g their honeymoon trip in a new Ford. ttt Lady—How did you learn to beg in such a pitiful fashion? William Weary—I once had a rich wife, lady. sae He kissed the parlor maid and the has just doubled m, Tf it took the Irish 700 years to cliase the English out, how long is it going to take the Irish to chase the Irish out? Client—What do you see in your preliminary scrutiny? — Seeress (there with the goods)—My unalterable price is ten dollars, and I foresee that you have but two dollars and a half. The Latest Crime Wave by Keith Preston jan motif will be smart in spring styles.” —Fa Dore will get his model From Egyptologists; “Pet seals” will writhe and waddle In “Tutankhamon twists.” The livest dancing places Will be disguised as tombs; Slinkers with gilded faces Slouch in sepulchral glooms. Bulls will be known as Apis; Booze salesman bound to please Will promise, by Serapi Pre-Volstead dyt Poets in hi Will garb the higher gammon; Cats will be called Bubastes, Babes christened ‘Tutankhamon. ttt ave to take your hat off to some wuto drivers, if you don’t they will probably take it off for you anyway. eer) ‘ Remember, — the hard-boiled egg got hott that way from being i in hot water. { tae Datman—Was. it much that Mrs. Manley said? Statler — Was _ it much? Why, | she would have needed a conservatory. if she had said ‘it’ with tlowers. ry “Why do they call a kid like yours a young hopeful?” May- She (slightly dis- heveled)—Th tunnel we just went through cost over a million dollars. He (also slightly disheveled) —W e I, it was worth it. comicbooks.com