Judge — February 10, 1923 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE pay best. Allothers at regular rates. Original, unpublished humorous First Prize HERE did you go for your opera- tion, Cindy?” inquired her istress. To the horsepital in Baltimo’,” replied Cindy: ve & good doctor?” I shore did—John Hopkins, mam, das his name!” Dv Crow as a shure’ goer. The young minister of his church was also devout, but easily em- barrassed. Imagine the consternation of Mr. Crowe and the delight of the congre on, When the young divine solemnly said in prayer meeting: “And now, will Brother Pray please crow for us? sae BREATHLESS throng, assumed to be connoisseurs, were listening to the conservatory recital. Perspiring young artists were doing their best to justify training. There were fond mammas, bored papas, and the usual array of brothers, sisters, aunts and counsins, in whose imaginations loomed distinction for the young artists. One violinist approached his gi ‘st moment, producing a tremolo. A he lady in the back row, sym- pathetic to the last degree, whispered to her companion: “How sorry I feel for him! Isn't he nervous!” tae ESPONSIVE to an advertisement, a strong, healthy-appearing girl ap- peared for housework. — Satisfied with the wages to be paid and other matters, she said she would take the place, and that her sister would accept it if she should not like it. “T want you to understand that I can’t do any hard work,” said the girl, “My bad and I can’t stand on my eyes the “can said your ck is weak too!” repli: young woman. Whereupon the lady said, “I don’t need anyone to stand on her head. You should apply to Ringling Brothers, Per- haps they could place you.” Rnd N snips of the Navy the Captain holds court daily to mete out punish- ment for breaches of discipline. _The s going phrase for this court is The Mast. One day an old offender was brought to the “mast” to explain why he was four hours overtime. This was his ex- “Captain, while making a dash for t boat this morning, which or- I could have easily made, a Salvation Army band commenced to play ‘The Star Spangled Banner,’ and as I would rather be punished for being overtime than to have anyone think I was unpatriotic, I stood at attention, and missed the boat. Stories to Tell 0 weekly for the best story submitted for this page, and for the second stories only are wanted. HE doctor's three-year-old-daughter, Wires the battle of Mobile Bay was Doris, had come to bid her father over, and the ships had anchored, good night. Thinking to ascertain the Lieutenant Commander Perkins who child's viewpoint as to her prayers, he commanded the Chickasaw went on board “Doris, how do you begin your the Hartford to report to Admiral Farra- TS gut. Perkins was a handsome, dashing Why, daddy,” she said, with a fellow, bright and popular. twinkle, “I just say ‘Lord, this is Doris After calling on the Admiral he went speaking.’” below to the ward room, where he found ; the officers standing around the table, A Nervous middle-aged lady ap- and the Chaplain with prayer book in proached a taxi and inquired of hand just about to read the prayer of had but recently ob- Thanksgiving for — victory. Perkins s license, of which he stopped at the door, and the Chaplain Are you a care- seeing him, said in a solemn voice, “Cap- tain, won't you join u aa replied the young , thanks, old man,” replied Perkins, chauffeur, holding the door open. “T've just had two with the Admiral.” After a nerve-shattering ride lasting about fifteen minutes the lady was de- posited at her destination. She shakily descended, then demanded angri “I thought you were a careful driver! The novice looked astonished and in an st the driver, who tained his drive was immensely proud: ful drive aggrieved tone replied, “Yaas, n. Here iss my lizense an’ T alvays blow for CZ de railroad crossinks, don’t I, ma’am?” “Dearest, I feel a something coming — over me!”