Judge — February 3, 1923 — page 33: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

With the College Wits Irrepressible, Joyous, Irresponsible Farewell to Kitty Yor eas keep all the kisses Tg Y ucan keep every golden Ps You can keep all the sweet tricks I taught you, And the jokes you made me confess. You can keep whatsoever you care for— My loving, the parties you threw; But please send me back what Tam miss- ing ‘The cold cash I wasted on you. —Pennsyleania Punch Boul. “I wish master would watch where I'm going!"—Yale Record. tae The Wail of a Slacker Rowance, you call, and I’m quite fain to fall, For your voice is: silvers: chime, But T have some work That I simply can't shirk. O Romance, T haven't the . TIME. O Romance, I hear you, I long to be near you, But. where say 1 aoe'your'dear tace? Except in a novel One can’t use a hovel. O Romance, I haven't the O Romance, you grieve me, must leave me. For I'm such an unworthy churl. Minc’s a far greater crime Than to lack place or time . O Romance, I haven’t the . . GIRL! —Dartmouth Jack-o-Lantern. ae ” sobbed Ilma Vladoffovitchskioff. “Ivan Ninespotsky died in battle! ay he uttered my name as he was . PLAC I fear you he did his best,” replied —-Toronto Goblin. “Part of it; the returned soldi She—Papa said you had more money than brains. Reggie—Ha! I'm broke. “Yes; Papa added that you we Amherst Lord Jeff. That's one on your Women, Women HE OTHER NIGHT in my sedan ‘There was just her and me—her man. I talked of rain, and shine, and old Forgotten days, and pirates bold, And ships and x, and gold, ‘Then all at once she said, “I'm cold.” So I, though cool, took off my coat, And wrapped my muffler ‘round throat. And then I talked of golfer’s stance. her ‘The styles in clothes, the t dan And how the mediums faked a trance And I grew cold, but gosh! her glance Was colder yet. Task of you Just what it was IT failed to do? Chicago Phoenix. wae V Jomen are like clocks. Some of: | them are fairly reliable with but | little attention, while others need almost constant and it is not always the high-priced, jeweled ones that are most dependable. They may have pretty | hands, pretty faces and pretty move- | ments, but they are liable to get out of | order and when they do, they are all very | hard to regulate—Oregon Lemon Punch, | eer) Sightseeing Guide—We are now passing | one of the oldest’ burlesque houses in | Chicago. Small-town — Rounder—What Northwestern Purple Parrot. tat for?— Tom—What makes think she | doesn’t like you? | Vie—She told me she thought there | was a fool in every family. “Well, what of that? “Td just gotten through a moment before telling her that Iwas an only child."—Michigan Gargoyle. you i | Modern Girl—Ask your fiancé to postpone your marriage so I can be there. Second M.G.—Sorry, but I don’t | know him well enough. — Williams | Purple Cow. 31 Brainy Diet NOTABLE RESULTS: PARALYSIS. A betpless ti pother, age * ed ould walk two miles home werk HAV FEVER if cracked and sealing PYORRHOEA. Age 65 lay PREGNANCY © 3 n suffered no nausea, ne Sel With wollen fer cational bx | 200 Fifth Avenue BRINKLER SCHOOL OF EATING Dept. 15 131 West 72nd Street New York MYSTERIOUS CHARM 00 Gold Plated A very mysterious watch charm until revolved—then it shows « square and compass each Write for free catalogue of Masonic publications, Jewelry and paraphernalia REDDING & COMPANY Dept. X New York City Look Prosperous! FOR A FEWQWW tly, ‘CENTS A DAY en Z Tee mei, NW yy Special No. 61 Only | Don’t send a single penny. Ten days Free Trial. Whenthering comes, examineit—if youarenot convinced it 1s the Greatest Bargain in America, send it back at our expense. Only. if ple send $1.50 weekly—at the rate of a day. These Bargain Cluster Rings with White Perfect Cut Diamondscan be vours. No d Tape. No Risk. 8% Yearly Dividends Ciaranteed. “Also 8% Borus: fresnel Dollar Send for it today Book FREE picturcs ‘thoussnds ol ireeleay’ Address Dept, 2382. J.M.LYON & CO. 2-4 Maiden Lane N.Y.