Judge — January 6, 1923 — page 9: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Scooty Blear by CW. Myers Is time I meet oop wi’ a bolshevik it mak’s me see red. + * « I hae a soospicion that the shoe profi- teer will find walkin’ verra rough in the t world. Puir sole! + * # A hyeyak is the goof gawfer wha ne’er owerlooks a bet tae tell ye hoo a shot ought tae be played. * * * It is needless tae remark that mesil’ and a’ ither Scots are muckle pleased that the high cost o° gawf is noo ancient history. * * * It_micht be funny tae see a mon wearin’ a straw hat anc owercoat but aboot the maist incongroous spectacle is a motorist. smokin’ a corncoob pipe and drivin’ a limousine. + *# 8 It’s verra queer that the restaurants that hae the strongest cups serve the weakest coffee. , * * I cad mention scores 0” gawfers wha micht improve thir game if they’d remove some o” the ivory frae thir haids and put it oon the face o” thir cloobs. + * * What I'd like to find oot is whither an oleander is a Swedish plant. + + * Speakin’ aboot a $19.50 suit 0” clothes, amon micht freeze tae death wearin’ anly a vest, but he micht get pinched first. \ Ss, my laddie, ye shad nae drink sae hard; it will soon mak’ ye an auld mon an’ na gude fer onything,” aid th’ little minister tae th’ cobbler. »0, promise me that ye'll taper aff : come tae my kirk next Sunday, onything, my nswered dy. ndy, wha hi ane 0” his aceus- quietly intac th’ er meetin’. th’ minister paid a visit tae Sandy, feelin’ that his advice hacd nae fallen oon deaf ears, Aweel, Sandy. I was verra glad tae see ye oot tac th’ kirk last nicht,” was his ye “[ willna promise ye gude mon, but I'll try A nicht or sac later stayed a bit too lang weel,” replied Sandy, “sae that’s whaur I was, was’t? tas Topper—Well, old man, how do you Slicer—Oh, about the same as you do, two strokes to every hole. 4 “What do you play golf for?” “To keep fit “Fit for whi “For more gol PR nad “Poor Binks is in a bad way.” “Howzat?” beer by x mental suggestion on near- 1g it hard looks.” HOSPITAL STREET cuT-ouTS Drawn by ReNe CLARKE. The Zenith by C. P. McDonald , if you must, of what you do afield, Of shots in which you tell me you excel; Unto your prowess and your skill I yield, Unto your deeds I listen while you dwell; ‘Then hearken but a moment, pray, And hear my blithesome roundelay; Though rummy be the game I play, Last week I bagged a birdie! Great stuff that I should master such a Whi bille; And what a thrill in striving to repeat, What great exhilaration now I feel! What right have you to preen and crow About the records you can show? You're nil to me when I can go And gather in an eagle! driving for the green en desha- Sing on, old pal, of what you've done, and do— not for the burden of your song; hot your nine, I know, in forty- I You" two, But still I must contend you don’t belong; You play, I know, ‘Than I—my shootin mewhat tame; Yet I’m contented to proclaim To-day I bagged an ostrich! better game “Shure, now, that’s where I’m comin’ whin I have me appendix ramoved.”