Judge — December 30, 1922 — page 29: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

F PRESIDENT HARDING makes that “solemn public appeal” for national observance of the Volstead law, we trust he will send specially engrossed copies to the delegates who attended the Republican State Convention in New York. The platform was dry, but beneath the platform the hotel rooms were wet. rer Everything is being standardized these days—rivets, automobile parts, movies, women’s suits—and now the Ku Klux step further and provides with its he standardized face. soe Possibly “the next war” will not be fought because American bootleggers, possessing all the money, will refuse to finance it. goes mas! sae Sometimes we think that the prohibi- tionists must have gained control of the coal business, there being but about one half of one per cent. heat in the slate fuel we are sold nowadays. Fae Some day, we venture to hint, the most insignificant public office in the United States may carry with it the title of Vice Bloc Head nae Republican newspapers ai “What can we do to be save From the standpoint of the insurgent West, the answer seems to be: “Sell all that you have and give to the poor—farmer.” sas asking: “The worker still touches his hat to the man who touches his pocket.— The Bishop of St. Albans. The epigram is from the Bishop's slashing attack upon social conditions in England. Things are better over here. Here the worker no longer touches his hat—and the man who touches his pocket is “alarmed” at such spread of socialism. Canad William J. Burns, detective extra- ordinary, is lecturing these days by radio. William should lecture in winter |y as he will be liable to super-heat the a summer, sae dents of the United 'States's Ss a a 1 of comprehension as Washington corr spondents sometimes make them appear. chanel “If any group now has the idea that a few men can control th try, they may as well forget it. [tcan’t be done.” —Senator Shipstead of Minnesota, But Mr. Daugherty will bear witness that if the men be “blear eyed” an mecting in a hotel room of a hot night, they may sometimes “put over” a presi- dential nominee. tae CCORDING TO a solemn dispatch from Washington, President Hard- ing “fears” that prohibition is debauch- ing the country. “‘Fears” y have been the official White House word, or it may merely have been the verb selected by the correspondent to express the White House state of mind. At all events it recalls the time honored dialogue: “Oh, Mr. Riley, II fear I'm sitting on your hat.” “You fear vou're sitting on my hat, Mrs. Flynn? I know very WELL you're sitting on my bat.” Two million Russians will die of cold this winter unless clothing is sent from America.— The Russian relief. It’s a shame to fool a Russian like that. Suppose the clothing sent should be of the quality which ordinary Americans have been forced to buy and wear for the last five years! At least let us stipulate that only suits “with an extra pair of pants,” be shipped. ‘Then the Russian ipient can wear both pi reputation for being a friend in necd will not be totally shattered. set Lovely Trimming by Gardner Rea MELMCENT.” I said, “I'm going to swear off of only one thing this year. greatest pleasure I have in the world: ing you hats.” ent yawned, “Don’t be absurd,” ought to know by now you ¢ “My dear,” I went on firmly, “I’m not trying to kid you. From now till the first of next January, I don’t buy you a single new hat. As far as I’m concerned, you'll have to struggle along with the fifty you've got.” “If you allude,” snorted Millicent, “to that pile of junk the cat chases mice through in my closet, I'd be ashamed to have the rubbish collector see it. As for hanging any of them on the wife of a young man who has already made his mark in the world of letters—” I smiled bitterly. “That last, Millicent, it would be foolish for me to deny; I hare made my mark in the world of letters. ‘The letters are three, [ mark them down frequently, and they always read ‘I. 0. U.’ Not, of co that I mind being bankrupt—” Millicent sniffed. “—or that I object to adorning your beauty in the lavishness to which it has always been unaccustomed. It is simply that I wish the glory of your hair to be no longer withheld from the admiring gaze of man and the envy of woman. 1 am even willing to buy you a ten-cent curling iron, But as for a permanent wav “The only permanent wave which will ever enter my life,” replied Millicent, “is the one with which I wig-wagged good-b) to the world’s gold deposits when I married you, If I had ever thought for noment—" “My « she repl n't kid me!” ” T interrupted gently, “after all, of what avail are these painful post- marital confessions? Not that I am un- appreciative of your belated frankness, of course, but when I married you I knew you had never thought fora moment. I loved you none the less. I sought only a foil—not competition. You are forgiven.” Millicent did not tear my eyes from their sockets. She missed, and landed on my collar. eri “My dear,” better bred—” Suddenly Millicent let go her hold tumbled back on the couch with a gig “Bred!” she gurgled. “Bre: “Millicent,” I demanded suspiciously, “what are you up to?” “Up to2” replied Millicent admiringly, “darling, I'm at last up to your own glorious height of self-sacrifice. Thanks to the transmitted heroism of my Puritan forebears, I, too, shall give up the dearest 27 “if you were and “You | Thea., West 424 St. Eves. 8.30. ELTING Matinves Wed. aud Sat. 3.30. FLORENCE REED in“EAST OF SUEZ” By W. SOMERSET MAUGHAM. MATS 215, AEHIPPODROME.:: 1000 SEATS DAILY MATS 256 NIGHTS A NATIONAL INSTITUTION THIS een FREE. TEN Sood “EVERY BODY ATENTS. ee TRECORD OF INVENTION BLANK." Send model or sketch and description of invention for our free opinion of its patentable nature. Highest References. Prompt Service. Reasonable Terms. VICTOR J. EVANS & CO., 813 Ninth, Washington, D. C. PLAY. WRITE for illustrated guide _ book. SUBTROPICAL FLOWERS AND FRUITS d for free book\ arden Spot." It teils erful way, sted. A DAY Selling SATs se As) sell. No experience or capital gained. preely | new proposition. oe samples. [fT ) Medison Shirt Corr |03 Broadway, N.Y.C. things in my life. bread, I IT shall give up French nd pie.” appalled. “You little hypocrite!” [ gasped, “you know you don’t like French bread, beans and pie.” “Though,” murmured Millicent, “you're simply mad about buying me hats.” ‘And you also know.” I went on desperately, “that my whole existen wrapped up in French bread, beans and is Millicent smiled seraphically. “And what’s more, you know darned well that when there’s something either of us doesn’t eat, we never have it around the house! Good Lord—” Limply I sat down and faced it out. Millicent still smiled. I retired grace- fully. “Ha, ha!” I said, “we've got pretty far off the track, haven’t we? As I was ing: [ve sworn off buying you hats. From now on, you're to buy ’em yourself. Your allowance starts to-morrow.” Millicent kissed me sweetly on brow. “You dear,” she whispered, “I knew you were only kidding!” the