Judge — December 23, 1922 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Digest of the World’s Humor AN ALUMNA of Radcliffe was helping #2 in the recent drive to raise ney for the Radcliffe endowment fund by sell- ing soap. s employed. two. small boys take ap to the house some of tier friends. Little with the boxes under each arm, marc hed up to one door and knocked, “Why 1 sellin the ,. 100,000 for Radeliffe.” “Three million dollars! And are you trying to raise it all by y the quick rest helping me. sae OHNNY hat arly bedtime. the cour the nightly ments his moles told him how little chicks went to sleep with the sun. For the moment he was silent, then he piped up: “But the old hen goes to bed with them, , » bringing Detroit Free Press. ess Medical Expert—When the eyes are shut the hearing becomes more acute. Jones—I have noticed people trying this experiment in church.—Chicago News. up their children.” Lady—Is that your sister you have brought with you? The Step-cleaner—Oh, no, mum; she’s my pupil. I'm learnin’ 'er the perfession.—Pearson’s Weekly (Lon- don). é Ambitious Cat—I'll catch the mouse that made this hole if I have to wait here for a week!—London Opinion. * SMTH walked up the street the other J evening with a box of arm and a big package of meat the other. Hello, Smith,” said Brown, “You ving? I didn’t know you were under ur hou marric “Tm not yet.” “What are you doing with those choco- and meat then ing to see my girl.” “Do you h to furnish the family with meat alee i “Oh, no. The sweets are for the girl, and the meat is for the I have to square both.”—London Telegraph. rated VERY deaf old lady, the street, saw an I peanut roaster. $ awhile, shook her he I shan't give you music as th: any of the tunes, and besides it smells there were something burning inside!”—The Congregationalist. a Ae race officer is Con- asked the visitor “Wha at sort of y indorsed “he's the second best checker player in town!”"— Kansas City Star. 24 OE SALEM, ex-ship’s cook, retired, works for a society matron in Te Just before a big party Joe took sick, ‘The matron sent for a doet Asked the doctor, “Nothing.” repli owes me fifty bucks « of bed till she pays m Move o said the doctor, “she owes me « ndred."—Our Navy. the missus I won't get out oy state to the court,” said: the torney a delicate little woman who seemed hanily to possess sufficient strength to ‘exactly what you did) between eight and ni on the Wednesday morning in questic “Well.” said the witness, after a mo- ment’s reflection, “IT washed my two children and got them ready for school and sewed a button on Tommy's « and mended a rent in Dorothy's dr Then T tidicd up my sitti made two beds and fants and glanced r hen T dusted my parlor and. set things to rights in it J and combed my baby's sd a button on one of her and then [swept out my brushed and puts i witness ina » o'cloc my house er the morning washed some hair, and se little shoes; front entry the child a note te excuse him for not being king her to school on n I fed my canary bird and gave the groceryman an order and swept off the back porch—and then I sat down and rested for w minutes before the clock struck ni ‘That's all.” “AI! said the dazed lawyer. “Ex- cuse me, judge, I must get my breath before L call the next witness.” —Phila- delphia Ledger. ery Boats—Skee got a swell job on. the foolin’? How much jack is he makin’? “More than a burglar and nearly as much as a bootlegger.”—The Periscope. OUR PERSONAL COLUMN Little Pet—Couldn’t you give up your practice? Ambition is a curse to many people. Had I my way, dar- ling, you'd never do anything again.— Passing Show (London).