Judge — December 23, 1922 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“Look, Kenneth! fellow?” “Sure!” “Then speak to him before he thinks you're a naughty boy!” “Sure. ’Lo, Uncle Jim!” Don't you know this jolly old vd in rves, joere Heed ame ath prac —_ Stories to Tell JUDGE. pays $10 weekly for the best story submitted for this page, and 85 for the second best, All others at regular rates. Original, unpublished humorous stories only are wanted. little man.” said the JT WAS during the late war. Private Firat Prise hush that noise. This old soldiers and non-commissioned officers N OLD Scotsman was consult- sleep.” ras well as at many other ing his lawyer as to whether The little fellow obeyed, but hung his camps, were forbidden to wear rolled advisable for him to | head with a scowl. leggings. Of course, such leggings were 3 gainst a certain man, A half grown Irish lad who was sitting smuggled in and worn on many a trip ed all the facts of the case | near began to show his hilarity by up- home. had | roarious laughter. On one such trip a Camp Taylor private t he had a The old lady tapped the Englishman had reached Vincennes, Ind. He had y good case to bring up, and | upon the shoulder, a little less gently than been proud of his rolled leggings, but his would undoubtedly win, . before, and said: “Do, please, sir, make pride vanished for fear when he saw a & “Ah, weel.” replied the Scot, | that fellow stop that noise. didn't get captain whom he had known slightly in ind I'll no be taking action, the wink of sleey tnight. Iwas with my life, looking at him—and = the “Why not ked the lawyer. ck daughter all night. I simply must leggings—intently, Finally the — officer sit “Weel, d’ye ken, it’s ma oppo- approached and said sternly to the to nent’s case I've laid before ye! Englishman, almost. losing his ling private: : sed the offender: “Do they allow you to wear rolled Second Prize a leggings at 2 TIS truly comforting to feel that the r fools in Tre ‘-no, sir, r answer in trem- possibility of inheritance lies on the, ‘The lad, in a er ed: bling tones. everything from side of good breeding and not on that “L don’t. know, sir, but, begorra, I'm — the guard house to the firing squad flashed of ignorance. It was with some such thinkin’ you won't be lonesome! before his eyes. sentiment that a Washington woman sae said the officer, “they don't at made her claim of ancestry. A pessimist can do anything that it Camp Grant, cit and I think it’s a ‘Oh, * she said, proudly, “we doesn’t take courage to do. gol-darned shame!” sg can tra ur ances- . tors back to—to— N IRISHMAN, well, I don’t. know coming out of who, but we have been descending for centuries.” Rad N_ ENGLISH- ems L MAN curene Don't be.too : : dread sure, said the man Me rn Winer in the next bed, a coach on his way to “They left a Ireland, In a seat “They left a spe near by, a_ small in me and had to cut youngst highly me open again, incensed at some- A patient on the thing that had not other side said, exactly pleased him, “Why, they had to was venting his dis- open me, too, to find pleasure by loud one of their instru- crying. An old lady ments.” just behind the st then the sur- Englishman tapped a M i shape Bien gently on the atedon the Irishman “Please, sir, make stuck his head in the € that child hush that THE CRITIC floor, and. sellels awful noise. T want Judkins (enthusiastically)—Well, old chap, what do you think of her? “Has anybody seen to get at least forty Dentist Friend—Well, whoever her dentist is, he’s done rotten bridge- ™¥ | winks. work on that second incisor! 15 Pat fainted.