Judge, 1922-12-16 · page 5 of 36
Judge — December 16, 1922 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Analysis of Judge Magazine Page This page contains three distinct pieces: 1. **"The Gift"** (poem by Ralph H. Thomson): A satirical poem advising against giving practical gifts, preferring sentimental ones instead. 2. **"Tommy Tupper" dialogue**: A humorous exchange about a lost wrist watch, establishing a comedic domestic scenario. 3. **Bottom cartoon** (drawn by Perry Barlow): Shows a doctor and patient discussing medication instructions. The joke hinges on the patient's confusion about whether pills should be taken "externally or befo' meals"—a play on mispronunciation of "before." This satirizes both medical jargon's complexity and patients' difficulty understanding dosage instructions. The page primarily offers light humor rather than political satire, reflecting Judge's mix of domestic comedy and gentle social observation typical of early 20th-century American humor magazines.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“Tommy Tupper speaking. Bring over that litle wrist watch I spoke to you about yesterday. Yes, I want it . ° . . . . . ‘Two hours later Tommy’s phone rang. Marj’s voice thrilled him to the roots of his red hair. “Tommy, you wonderful boy! How did you guess I wanted it? And to think it’s been here five whole days with- out my seeing it. Mother just found it Iving inside the window where that per- fectly stupid postman must have dropped it, Can't you run in this evening? I've something for you. No, you im- n't tell you what it is, but it’s something you want and it’s some- thing I want to give you very, very much.” eet The Gift ly Ralph M. Thomson O NOT the present You may have for me; Something may, perhaps, prevent Its delivery. patient b Do not even send it By a messenge Sentiment is not a thing Servants may transfer. time during Christmas, Keyed to finger tips, I shall call to get the gift From your dainty lips. Drawn by Perry Bartow, “Are the directions clear to you now, Jefferson?” . . , ” “Yas, sah, all except one thing, doctah. Was I to take dose little pills externally or befo’ meals? As the twig is bent. sae Unemployed—Can you give me a job where I can keep dressed up all the time and won't have to work much? Office Manager—Vl_ keep you in mind and when I find tco jobs like that, you can have the other one. “How do you identify th sanity of your patients?” visitor, “By hanging artment store tags around their necks,” replied the up-to- date superintendent. “I use 5-10- and so on, up to 100 per cent. off tags. degree of in- asked the 3 On the Appreciation of Clas- sical Music by Fairfar Downey FTER dinner, the Cli had given in pany stopped dut play. He had s the piano for half « was an awful pause. “How lovely!” commented the hostess. Her reward from the C.P. was the look reserved for those who say something une nal and obvious, The host started to applaud but was squelched by the look reserved for those who are inclined to be irreverent. eply and received wp those wh wono Daily Doz records. al Pi the ally entreating him to down and mnman-handled Then th hour. other music than “Do play that again!” 1 tother guest begged and received the look reserved for those who didn’t know what they heard the first time. At this point, the Man Who Knew Nothing of Music surrendered to a sneeze which he had been fighting back hero- ically for thirty-five minutes. He received the look, the rare look, which is reserved for those who ¢ pemed fellow-lovers of the truly “Ah, my friend,” gracious Classical Pianist, “you, at least, rec Tschaikowsky.” usic. comicbooks.com