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Judge, 1922-12-09 · page 29 of 36

Judge — December 9, 1922 — page 29: what you’re looking at

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Judge — December 9, 1922 — page 29: Judge, 1922-12-09

What you’re looking at

This page is primarily **advertising copy**, not satire—though it exemplifies what modern readers might find ridiculous about early 20th-century self-help marketing. The ad promotes three purported "secrets" claiming to solve fundamental human problems: eliminating worry, manipulating others' behavior through pseudo-psychological "hypnosis," and increasing iron in blood through breathing exercises. The hyperbolic language ("worth a fortune," "secrets worth millions") and grandiose promises ("compel others to do for you as you desire") reflect common mail-order self-improvement schemes of the era. The coupon at bottom solicits customer information, suggesting this is a genuine commercial pitch rather than Judge magazine satirizing such schemes. However, the over-the-top claims—that a single "principle" can simultaneously cure worry, control human nature scientifically, and improve health without drugs or exercise—would have seemed dubious even then, possibly explaining its inclusion in a satirical publication. The page represents early 20th-century pseudoscience marketing targeting anxious, aspirational readers.

📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ust re 7 nt PRICELESS SECRETS Why Worry and Be Unhappy? Why Be Pale and Weak? Why Be a Victim of Other Personalities? Why Not Be Happy and Vigorous? Why Not Compel Others to Do for You as You Desire? How to Change from Worry to Happiness How to Convert Worry into Pleasure, Happiness and Success I discovered the principle of worry and I discovered the secret of how to control it successfully and easily. This secret is said to be worth a fortune to anyone You can be free of worry re- gardless of how your condi- tions seem eager to depress, worry, crush and paralyze you. No one should be without this secret. This secret absolutely insures a happier life. It dis- closes an easy and simple power which anyone ean use. I can positiv show anyone how to easily, quickly and definite- ly convert his worry into profit, pleasure and prosperity. This se- cret is absolutely guaranteed to de- stroy worry. a These Three Secrets are worth more than any other information ever discovered and disclosed to you by a you in your life than many thou instant revelation and a great sourc L could easily sell th mum of benefit to the gre: lems of lif approximately no profit to myself Here is your opportunity to have given, and what would it hav of misery? Insure having it now! Thi induce « This is and at the = breathing or exercise. your opportunity to secrets ata high pri t number of hur at need by human beings, at present, of th the benefit of this great opportunity to procurt nd for gaining the greatest possible results and happiness in every. respe in freedom from worry at will en worth to you, to have had this secret in your days Why Not Be the Master? How to Induce Others to Do for You as You Desire How to Make Others Like and Appreciate You How to Virtually ‘Hypno- tize’’ Others Into Doing for You as You Want Through my Key to the Universe of human mind, I discovered the nature of the principle that rules human beings in their attitude towards one another. Through r use of this secret, I converted my enemies into friends and easily ean one and everyone to be most friendly. discovered how to virtually “hypnotize” human beings into desiring to please me and doing as I want. Through this secret, you can convert your enemies into friends and gain the good will and co-operation and admiration of any human being. In a world in which the success and pleasure of individuals depend on the con- sent and co-operation of others, the pos- session of this secret is of tremendous value. This secret also gives a deeper understand- ing and realization of human nature than would be possible for you to attain other- wise. It gives you the “key” to human nature, by means of which you are able to control the attitudes of others towards you No one can afford to deal with human nature blindly. This secret ables you to deal with human nature scientifically and in- telligently and thus, profitably Sr r power or secret y will be worth more to They will be an n being. Thi yu give for them rount of the an beings to have ets for mecting the prob- at What would you not is your opportunity to gain the power and secret through which you are able to nd compel others to act favorably towards you for your benefit rn how to attract a maximum of iron into your blood ne time, gain natural deep breathing, without drugs, dieting, conscious deep These Three Priceless Secrets—‘‘Secrets Worth Millions’’—are yours by re- turn mail if you sign the coupon, How to Naturally Increase to a Maximum the Iron in Your Blood and at the Same Time Acquire Natural Deep Breath- ing by an Evolutionary Prin- ciple, Without Exercise, With- out Conscious Deep Breathing, Without Drugs or Dieting, With- out Inconvenience, Waste of Time or Active Practice of Any Kind Through my discovery and knowledge of the law of Evolution, I discovered also the principle that rules the human breath- ing system and I have discovered a simple way, through which anyone can be a deep breather, naturally, automatically and un- consciously, without conscious deep breath- ing, without exercise of any character, with- out active action of any character, without inconvenience or loss of time and without drudgery or devices of any character. This principle positively increases to a maximum, the iron in the blood, without drugs or dict- ing, giving to the complexion a rosy hue and to the blood, greater power to sustain health and life in the body. Many have gained vigorous health and a successful defense against tuberculosis through this secret alone. one who is in the least inclined to be pale and anemic and to be susceptible to tuberculosis, or, who is a shallow breather, should be with- out this evolutionary secret -~~~~COUPON7~~~~ ALOIS P. SWOBODA [3011 Berkeley Bidg. 21 West 44th Street, New York City | Send me, as soon ax possible, the Three Priceless Secrets—Secreta. Worth” Millions—as described to Jepoe, Twill gladly hand ¢ he delivers the Three derstood that mailman three dollars when sto me (Write plainly) Address % : 3 [ow State Publisher's Note la Is rendering an immense service to human x particularly at this time. because of the ed of the secrets be disclose f can afford to pegiret to take ad- cant There is everything to galn and nothing to lose,