Judge — November 11, 1922 — page 25: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

An examination of the football photo- graphs of twenty-five years ago yields the fascinating discovery that the col- lege players of that day wore bobbed hair and didn’t know it. wheat, defines ‘ta speculative in- vestor”” as one who “buys or sells against the future on his knowledge of what has happened in the past under similar conditions.” In shorter terms, a speculative investor is a gambler who keeps a dope-book. Race tracks are full of “speculative investors,” plain, blunt men who speak of “what has happened under a similar set of conditions” as “past performances.” J ESSE H. LIVERMORE, plunger in sae Foreign line officials say their ships will keep liquor under seals when in American ports. Quite so; trained seals. ee The Harvard astronomers who located a new sun 110,000 light-years distant should be rushed to Cambridge to locate sleeping accommodations for the several hundred new students who can’t find any. ery One minor difference between Moham- medans and Christians is the difference between Race Riots and Thrace Riots. eed Having swallowed a needle two months before her marriage, a California woman removed it—from the left shoulder of her baby daughter. The next thing for her to do will be to get down to brass tacks. rity of the best designers retain the waistline ashion yawp. That’s more than a lot of us can say. Why Curator Ditmars of the Bronx Zoo should have extracted poison from his campaign is to Wasn't there us a profound m enough venom in Ree The not unexpected is duc to happen: \rbuckle “plans a return to the movies.” As the vehicle for his return is not quite determined, we mention as appropriate a screen version of “Trial by Jury.” eee A tobacco company announces that “the five-cent cigar has come back.” As We Were Saying by Arthur H. Folwell Nature Studies by W. E. Hill Not a difficult. achievement, for as a matter of fact it has never been away. It has been here all the while, with a ten-cent price-tag on it. tt S WE understand Mr. Daugherty, £% an American ship is American terri- tory no matter whereabouts in the world it may be. But a French ship, or an Italian ship, or a British ship, loses its nationality, and the right to its own laws, as soon as it enters United States waters. There is a lot of Dry reading in Interna- tional law these days. se A man who has met and mingled with them states th Eskimos, through contact with ation, are losing their honesty, independence and sterling char- acter. Their suc ors, it seems likely, will be known as Eskimorons. tote Up at Lynn, Mass., five thousand hard dollars have been spent upon a winter pool for goldfish. There should be a court for goldfish, where they can get prompt redress if the janitor does not supply them with caotahi heat nd Moscow authorities are reported to have abolished orchestra conductors, the arguments being that the con- ductor’s baton is a symbol of domination which free men cannot adimit.—Rumor by way of Paris, This evening’s concert will open with a Fox Trotzky. ttt In choosing a novel nowadays, the prospective buyer thumbs through to see if it has a happy ending; and if it has— tosses it back with a sniff of disdain. sae IVE-REEL comedies, long ones, now the cat's whiskers in the movies. Everybody’s doing ‘em. Wherein one finds the reason for the passing of the pie and the popularity of spaghetti. Pie, when thrown, is just one grand splash and all is over; hardly any footage at all; a mere nothing in five reels. Spaghetti, by contrast, is admirable. It drips, coils and lingers lovingly, assaying at least six laughs to the foot when extracted by handfuls from a lady’s back in the “soci- ety scenes.” ttt The discovery of a star 10,000 times brighter than “the orb of day’ has set us wondering. Why did the author of 23 values. “super” creation of a Genesis ever chronicle the dinky little thing like “our sun” Pr If Mr. Daugherty gets tired of being Attomey General, a new cabinet niche might be made for him: Secretary of the Spotlight. tt To develop Staten Island, the New York City administration proposes 120 miles of trackless trolleys. Even Staten Islanders will concede that this would be a lot better than 120 miles of trolleyless tracks. ee knows?—Prohibition will go on until some future Noah releases a fish from his ark to see if the drought has receded from the face of the earth. watt Perhaps—who Sooner or later, Prohibition enforce- ment agents will investigate the equator, probing a report that the celebrated line isa pipe-line. And then, of course, there is the Tropic of Capricornliquor. To many people, Attorney General Daugherty is Attorney General Conster- nation. thing, the difference in word In film parlance, for example, is about the greatest word In stage patter, “super” is about the lowest Queer there is. comicbooks.com