Judge, 1922-11-04 · page 28 of 36
Judge — November 4, 1922 — page 28: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page features humorous advice and jokes from college newspapers, a popular Judge magazine section. The main content is satirical guidance for college men courting women during the 1920s era. The central humor mocks dating advice by presenting contradictory rules: the piece lists absurd things to keep girls away from (shop windows, florists, taxi cabs—essentially anywhere they might be tempted by purchases), then lists what to keep away from girls (other romantic rivals, expensive venues). The punchline: follow these rules, you'll have "a busted heart"; ignore them, you'll have a "busted pocketbook"—satirizing how dating costs money while isolation costs romance. The scattered jokes beneath mock courtship customs, women's fashion (skirt length as age indicator), and college social dynamics. References to specific college papers (Cornell Widow, Yale Record) suggest this collected humor from contemporary university publications, targeting readers familiar with campus romance stereotypes and the economic tensions of courting during this period.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
J.M.LYON &CO. 2-4 Maiden Lane N.Y. In Business Nearly 100 years BIGGUN SALE Famous Ortgies 5] (25 Auto. Pistol™, GER "SALES COMPANY G28George St. Dopt. 2211 Chicago, Ill P diste it you wane vent or coat Chain, FREE. UNISERSAL WATCH oO. _Dept. 103, | Aagtnee! Par only $8.08 on arrival. INITIALS | take a bawth.” With the College Wits Irrepressible, Joyous, Irresponsible What to Keep Your Girl Away From | ea AVENUE shop windows. Automobile salesroom windows. Florists’ windows. ffany’s windows. axicab windows. All windows. M ca rooms, Box seat Roof gardens. Your other Saturday night date. Everything. What to Keep Away from Your Girl Your roommate. Other girls that know you. Other girls that you want to know. Other girls that want to know you. Her other Saturday night date. Everybod Turkish cigarettes (your own). Kisses (anybody's else). Paris gowns. Your bankroll. Everything. The Result If You Do No girl, busted heart. The Result If You Don’t No girl, busted pocketbook.—Columbia Jester. ee rye inst “My fortune made. ited my new style B. V. Yeh? How so?” “Why, you just paint them right on.” “Paint them on! How do you change You it’s the patent, old de: "—Cornell Widow. ystem F YOU would win a girlie’s hand Don’t follow her each day! ‘Il find it is a better plan, To go the other w Don’t ever burn the midnight oil, ctice rushing othe And yours will soon say c —Ohio Sun Dial. ry “Don't try to me those moth- e sIf socks.” Look at the eighteen holes.”"—Cornell Widow. To the belle of the Southern Sea, A good missionary said, said he, “A calico skirt Is as cheap as dirt!” “But is it as cool?” said she. —The Mainiac. soe Te TELL a woman's age take the length of her skirt, add to this the age indicated t , subtract the length of her line, add what she her age is and divide the total by the number of times she has been engaged.—Tennessee Jade. reed “Where is that. girl whose picture used to stand on your desk?” “Oh, I've got the original now.”— Penn, State Froth. sae Conductor—Cha ange for Marietta! As Mama sees him! —Ohio Wesleyan Mirror. Change for M Hick Passenger—Don't. know who the girl is, but I'll chip in a dime.— Michi- gan Gargoyle. ane Slim. Smith GirlL—T understand you stopped associating with that Princeton guard. Stout Smith Girl—Yes—he hold me.—Yale Record. * He—Would you scream if I kissed you, little girl? She—Little girls should be seen and not heard.—Williams Purple Cow. ‘soe couldn't Son—I guess there'll never be a sub- } ways has been.—And the father glanced the feet of his son.—California Pelican.