Judge — October 7, 1922 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Flies in the Ointment by Walt Mason HERE is no pleasure that is without a flav I murmur as they go, to be a law.” I hie me to a fine hotel and sean the bill of fare; the chef’s been chefling wildly well, and sous things are there. I hang kin from my chin and order with a will, and throw the seasoned vict- uals in with energy and skill. But ever, always. as T chew, a sad thought fills my soul; when Tam done the bill is due, and that will take my roll. ‘This haunti thought, dodgast the luck, stands, like y specter, by; it spoils the flavor of the duck and eke the pumpkin pic. It makes my bitter drink, and sours my bowl of cream 1, if there were no bills, I think this life would be a scream. below here all new and bright, of ting and [ should be a happy wight, as down the road I spin. For T have paid the price in full—relee- tion most sublime!—I did not try to use as I go. bosom wain. wher nds I find, my aunts and nieces by m, ny pastor just behind. And I Should chortle ture, nd sing a my pull to get the car on time. Oh, I paw in ho my busted car. have paid in’ minted brass all my It’s always when a man is decked in bright ad state; T owe no farthing for ‘This raiment will be ruined qui and t © array arin which he ride: or for the license plate, And so besets my buss and things are is wrecked along the right of way. It’s at, when Tam dol or the like, The inveterate golfer absent-mindedly opens his egg “FORE!” in mire, with wrench and marlinsy The busy humming sound will cease be- fore I've tr and T will have to jad refrain; but in my . the while T tool my ur my new white suit, always when he’s looking most like some fair blooming bride he winds his car around a post and spoils his clothes and hide. » blowout of a t and I will LONG the white ifie beach T romp in bathing togs, and you will find no smoother pe in all’ the cata Into the wave I cast my frame, and the T swim and swim, till people on the sh exclaim, “There is no grief for him! He's ardent as a Tittle boy, and he has pep to i ure full of joy, Wa iv carking cz s I breast the sea to my sad This sun will peel the hide a locoed jay! I should be +, with parasol and fan, unsels on am seated in the sha and ample jug of lemonade. me—I But the lack and tan. : . they're drinki straws, and Finust stri harvest their applause. And I must pay the price, by heck! My beak is burning red, and there upon my neck, howl of oint- ng timorous of ment there's a fly, and, t soul, we sit around and sigh. We should enjoy this life, that’s brief, in blithe and care-free shape, but still we hunt around for grief, and let no woe escape. st n” years in f and a hard time to Apropos the recent “I Northwest) when the Jers had) such the homeste “get by Homesteader (to storekeeper) —Gimme tbh of bacon! rekeeper—Big, or little “Biggest. slab you've so durn manny cotton. and rabbits that every time T hear a bark [run under the porch.” ttt Ted—With the knell of the short skirt ‘armers: h? I've eaten Ist Golfer—Ta rather ky golf than eat. 2d Golfer—What does your wife think of that? “She's satisfied; she’d rather play bridge than cook.” the great show is over. Ned—I suppose so. The ginning to drop the curtain. girls are be-