Judge — September 30, 1922 — page 25: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

IX DAYES of olde, whenne nyghts were colde, A girle, whenne wythe a feller, If she hade sande, woulde holde hys hande And thynke she was an heller. But nowe a dayes, whenne ice does glaze Ye lakes ande alle that boundes them— Ye daymes get mad if every ladde Don'te wrappe themselves arounde them.—Chicago Phoenix. AIS Father—Are you sure he loves you? That it isn’t your money? Daughter—He swore he worshiped me since he first saw me, “Where was that?” “At the beach last summer.” “We ina bathing suit?” “He's after your money.”—Carnegie Puppet. Me for you, kid, when I grow up —Denver Parrakeet. eet T WAS at the Van Brewster’s reception, heralded far and wide as the social event of the season. Mr. and Mrs. Jones arrived late, a little flustered by the magnificence of the reception hall. Jones, in his embarrassment, handed the butler a laundry check. “Pardon me, sir,” said the offended official, ‘but what is this for?” Jones, however, was equal to the occasion. “Two callers!’ he replied, without hesitation.—Toronto Goblin. tae Professor—Aren’t you Mr. Smith? Stude—No, ‘sir, I'm Mr. Smith’s twin brother. “Ah, I see; what name, please?”— Notre Dame Juggler. AAs Harry—Did you feel the carthquake last night? Carrie—No, I was shimmying.—Wash- ington Dirge. AID. King—What ho, sirrah, cali the guard. Prime Minister—Sire, it is raining, and the guard has lost his umbrella. “Then by all means what ho the mud- guard.”"—Stanford Chaparral. PAD She—My aunt goes to every dance that I do. He—Ah, a dansant.—Colorado Dodo, With the College Wits Irrepressible, Joyous, Irresponsible Study Hours in a Sorority House “LTENCE we derive this theory—" “Hair-nets are not selling well,” “When I said that you really were here he “Said that you weren't quite so swell Mauve and the sleeves are in henn: “The co-ed has really some rights!” “Just as we got in the den a “Dumbbell turned on all the lights.” “Hence we derive this theory—", “For the women’s building, you know—"” “Honest her eyes were all bleary,” “Tipped over right in the snow “Took her roommate to the Follies: “Hence we derive this theory—” “Wear that old pink one of Dollic’s, “He'll never notice it, dearie.” “She said you told her he told me?” “Who is the cute one in front?” “What if he did try to hold me—" “We have to put on a stunt,” “Hence we derive this theory—” “Where are your Fine Arts not “T made my eyes look all tea: “The cutest men—in fur coa' “Prof said he surely would pass “She needn't look quite so snecry. “Wouldn’t have gone if he’d asked me!” “Hence we derive this theory: —Michigan Gargoyle. Ate “Why, Bob, you have a terrible black ve, did you meet with an accident?” eye, “I wouldn't exactly call her that.” —Harvard Lampoon. A Basket Bawl —Oregon Orange Owl. 23 Salesman—Pardon me, sir, I have an attachment for your typewriter. Manager—Well, don’t bother her dur- ing working hours.—Notre Dame Juggler. Fae Waiter (to irate customer)—We aim to please. Customer—Then T'd advise alittle target practice——Washington and Lee Mink. Rd “What! Jim a second-story Why, I've always believed in him.” “But he’s probably always stuck to his first one with you, dea Annapolis Loy. ttt Willie—I looked through the keyhole last night when May’s fellow was calling on her. Father—And what did you find out. “The electric lamp.”—Michigan Gar- goyle. man? 1st He—A woman spends half her time complaining that she hasn’t a thing to put on her back. 2d He—Yes, and the other half proving it.—Dartmouth Jack o’ Lan- tern, PBS Elopements are certainly becoming the rage. Just this morning we read of a horse running away with a young widow.—Dartmouth Jack o’ Lantern. PID Philip—My man, I think you are one of the most self-controlled men I have ever seen, Morris—Howcum? “You seem to have an awful lot of trouble with your flivver. You get angry with it, and yet you er swear at it.” “Well, you sce it’s this way. +I don’t think the flivver is worth a d ” Princeton Tiger. ead Co-ed—Why didn’t you find out who he was when the professor called the roll? Another Co-ed—I did try to, but he answered for four different names,— Missouri Showme. comicbooks.com