Judge, 1922-09-09 · page 11 of 36
Judge — September 9, 1922 — page 11: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# "The Voice with the Simile" and Other Pieces This Judge page contains three separate humorous pieces satirizing everyday social awkwardness and changing mores circa the 1920s. **"The Voice with the Simile"** by Cory Ford mocks a character named Tape who compulsively relies on hackneyed similes and analogies in conversation, rendering his points incomprehensible rather than clever. The narrator grows increasingly exasperated as Tape strings together absurd comparisons (teaching a parrot vs. making a sentence; counting beans; eating ink) to avoid simple discussion. It's satire on affected, pseudo-intellectual speech patterns. **"The Maid in Knickers"** by Thomas J. Murray gently comments on women's changing fashion—specifically the then-shocking sight of young women wearing shorter skirts and knickers (bloomers). While some disapprove of this modern liberalization, the poem playfully endorses it as harmless. **"Own Your Own Home"** is a brief domestic joke about a husband misunderstanding his wife's suggestion about serving his mother for lunch. These pieces collectively reflect 1920s anxieties about changing social conventions, modern speech affectations, and women's evolving public roles.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
~The Voice with the Simile- by Cory Ford “—O - COURSE IT can’t lay an egg.” said my friend Tape, and by: his you would have thought that he was ier tickled with himself for not being . and wouldn't if he could. “Of *t.” to imply that on the other Il probability I could, and did, wad went about with all the little girls ig their fingers at me, and calling t iL was sissic to lay ‘Buta hen can’t make an omelet he finished triumphantly. ‘Tape is like that. Tape will tie up an dea into some illustration, so that you cant undo it, and you have to tak tis. We were talking about specializa- ion in industry ull it, when Tape tid that one about : hody « iL as TT said. actly what [had meant to say. Tape was fairly « tering in for me to get over my bit sand let him im nother simile. [was getting a bit tir f having to hold the thread for hin to string pearls on. “You can teach ¢ rol words but he can't make a sentence,” ‘Tape. sparkled. That was almost enough. ‘Tape's brother- in-law used to laugh before breakfast, and wo T shot him. And now if ‘Tape con- tinued making similes: “Tf everybody did a little of everything, n do somethit It wasn’t ¢ but the: his impati ‘t he the wonder of a boy fer growin’ now, Mrs. Wiggins? Sure, an’ it won't be long till he can get a regular job, an’ strike like his father!" nobody would do much of anything.” T mudd id rolled up my sleeves. “Like counting beans.” he aph Tt was the last straw. [threw th ment away: to the battle, IS. s more than clams in chowder! T led out. “Tf a man eats ink it’s no sign he's sa author” he p: ad. startled. BU and with his OWN YOUR OWN HOME “Dear, how would you like mother for lunch?” “Fried!” “Milk is good, and cucumbers are good, but not milk and cucumbs It was a body blow: he staggered a little, 1 think he was beginning to realize what was happening. “Dueks and dr. he ly. [put my close to his. neat make an Abyssinian native who is spending a week-end on the Congo learn how to spell alligator, just bee he went fishing in the river basin with a Then T paused. Leruel. ‘Tape opened and closed his eyes slowly, and tried . nething: but) his mouth dropped i I should have known, T hung ves sadly. 4 wise hammer can find the nail.” T mumbled, but where Tape couldn't he me. You see have nothing re personal against Tape,except those similes, FAS The Maid in Knickers by Thomas J. Murray returned hent pin!” Tt had say TPE maid in knickers holds our gaze, As she parades down summer ways, And leaves us in a semi-daze Ah me: fashions swiftly run before, “el time to shout encore, aps again our doo: Merci. Some whom the dear gods disappoint, Insist the times are out of joint, And so to things like this they point With ts. But with such views T cannot hold, Nor deem the maidens overbold, And I would be the last to scold ‘The dears. tots Fair Bather—I suppose there is cone able danger if a person gocs beyond pth? Life Guard—No. The going beyond; it’s in going beneath, anger ain't in feated by a ten-vei . 1. neous games of chess, Isn't that. really about the correct proportion . Congressmen to one ten-year old boy? comicbooks.com