Judge — September 2, 1922 — page 19: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

EDITORIAL LAW William Morris Light Wines and Beer Volstead Prohibition has —smothered us in prosperity —solved our labor problems —diminished crimes of violence —improved our morals —cut down our divorce rate —produced greater respect for law —discouraged corruption improved our foreign relations —lessened the privileges of wealth —inereased our patriotism ——made us ‘This list contains eleven lies. To make it an even dozen we'll add that JupGE is a prohibitionist. The best practical suggestion for the mitigation of Volstead Prohibition is that to legalize light beer. Our professional prohibitionists contend, among other shrieks of protest, that this will bring back the saloon, Not if the traffic is properly regulated, as it ean be and has been—among peoples nota bit more ingenious than we. On the other far toward banishing the bootlegger. It is out of the frying pan into the fire” is an wines and hand it will go June's idea that exact description of Uncle Sam's leap out of the clutches of the barkeep into the arms of the bootlegger. Hence Jupce’s desire, which evidently is shared by a substantial majority of Americans, to see the return of light wines and beer, and his intention in his own peculiar way to hasten and welcome their homecoming. Friendly Enemies ILLIAM ALLEN WHITE does not indorse JupGe’s rogram as outlined Jupce and he have parted company, though remaining « ont friends, as good friends, for example, as are William Allen White and Governor Henry Allen. If only all the prohibitionists were like Bill White! Which reminds us that Bill White is not always the friend had an opinion about the railroad strike. that the strikers were 50 per And when the State of It was above. of prohibitions. H It was not much of an opinion- cent. right—not much, but his own, isas prohibited his expression of it he showed fight. the principle of the thing. Light wines and beer, he says, are of no more impoi We » but their prohibition to him than stewed prunes and vine not half as inte involves a principle, none the less, that every champion of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness should fight for, though he butt plum into his best friend, as Bill White did into Henry Allen, as JupGe has into Bill White. ey ing as free spec We hold no brief for the bootleqger, for patriotic reasons, but we can’t help feeling that he is really one’s Boozem Friend. Hair! BRYAN, it is Has he sacrificed that Hair! ILLIAM JENNINGS reported, liag had a hiatreat, growth which credibly curled . outward — and one that sheltered, Hed nest of the dove of a inspirational upward from the nape of his neck? T} in th urtoons of a recent past, the This would be a loss little short national calamity. The Commoner’s back hair belongs no longer to him but Ib is the sacred duty of a person in his position fo preserve intact those items of appearan Kaiser, for instance, while a single ‘atherland, had no business to let his musta William Howard I betrayed a public trust when he grew thin, If Teddy Roosevelt had come back from Africa with a beard on his face there would have been no Progressive Party. Once the 5 neis Joseph of Austria informed his ministers that he purposed abandoning his side whiskers. a council of state was convened and he was told to his country. © whieh proclaim his ereed. ‘The former junker remained in the droop or his heard: grow. Emperor Immediately that such an outr: wholly new issues of currency and stamps but precipitate a revolution. He desisted. Try to picture President Harding with a soup mustache or Henry Cabot Lodge clean shaven. Mr. Bryan will ruin the whole Chautauqua s alks on the platform looking like a traveling si mus proceeding would not only involve mn if he psman. aaa Black Star Line.” as caused a great deal AA slight redundancy Mareny Garrey, the negro Moses, says of robbery. unpleasantness and loss.” iy manifest. ttt Representative Hill, of Maryland, says that housewives all over his State are anxiously inquiring how much kick the Vol- stead Act permits in home vintages. Old Mother Nature knows. tt A New Prize Contest HERE is every ev somewhat. primitiy mention our vices, can be cited against us. pitality is second to none, our generosity is proverbial and, sording to some statistics recently made public by a com- mittee of the American Bar Association, we 2 f honest. This authority says in’ respect to “indicate the dishonesty of the people, such as larceny, extor- swin- ence that we Americans are still a Sven our virtues, not to Our hos- people, crimes which tion, counterfeiting, forgery, fraud and other crimes. « dling.” that the United States is rated as more moral than “any other of the large countries of the world.” All of which presents an engaging picture of a young, But turn it over. The “unlawful homicides” and 5,000 persons “by poisons, ingennons and enthusiastic nation. reverse side shows last year 9,500 in the last ten years the killing of by the pistol or the knife, or some other deadly instrument.” Tn cfimes of violence we lead the civilized (in a manner of speaking) world, ‘This, too, is entirely in keeping with our primitive character, but it makes us out just a trifle less cute than we would like to feel. As t are defic stween the cold-blooded species of crime, in which we ent, and the hot-bloode: or the latter in which we excel, much Almost any man could in degree of provocation, sds something more be said, of course become a murderer, gi but to become a deliberate swindler m than provocation, something pathological and therefore nat- urally loathsome and decadent. It is most certainly a sign of national health and vigor to have comparatively little of it. Still, it isn’t strictly necessary to be cither murderers or swindlers, savages or con men. Why not a Carnegie Medal or a Pulitzer Cup for the nation that. during three successive years may: be called civilized though honest?