Judge — August 26, 1922 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Always with Us by Walt Mason HE faker, in the village street, hands out his ancient wheezes; he has a cure for aching feet and all the known di He tells a string of tales, os, a ditty; r fails to get asy marks! their foolish They're musty ind his cheap prog the marks—a_ pity! They still abound, we he: laughter, when we would circulate around to warn against the grafter. We strive in all our public prints to make the poor he will not heed our helpful hints —the faker is the gaine: The druggist in the corner store much to help Hay Center; he pays the bill without a rear, when tax collectors enter. He helped to pave Commercial street, and boosts all undertakings; and he has cures for weary feet with all their pm achi He has a pill for every woe, a ¢ for each disaster, and stuff to make the whiskers grow, for every grief a plaster. When we have fantods in our legs, or chinchbugs in our galways, we ought to Druggist he’s in the villa ways. He halal to bi Jour Home for Cats—which houses many eritters—and when we've trouble in our slats we ought to buy his bitters. mark sane does ins and go to I UT lo, the faker comes to town, and yaps and sings and whistles, and we all put our money down for his punk Wine of Thistles. The tax collector's ping ways don’t bother him or grind m; he jumps the town between two days, and leaves some debts behind him. The « marks he marks whose heads are r they won't. patronize rods are phony. They'll deal with merchants whom they,know, with men who pay the By wearing a ON THE BEACH long beach cape you conform with the bathing laws, but— taxes; to merchants go, to buy corkscrew The village bank you marks with coi here in town they'll id axes. ays, “It’s clear n are dusty; and if He—Whoops! We're saved! hair isn’t combed! a sight! A ship! A ship! We're saved! She—Goodness gracious! And my And this gown is “Tom, mother was looking when you kissed me last night.” “Really? How did she take it?” “Said she felt satisfied you meant business.” 19 | their careful trade at home—he | distance, You cannot be held accountable for the caprices of the wind. you'll bring your rhino here T'll see it won't grow rusty. I'll put it where it will be safe, and yet where "twill be earn- ing, and you won't need to fret or chafe, through fear of its returning. I cannot promise that a buck will shortly bring you fifty; sane bankers do not run amuck, they’re cautious, safe and thrifty.” HE easy mark with bony dome! He fears the money-changers who ply likes to deal with strangers. He likes to send his hard-earned wad to some one in the whose promises, a furlong broad, cheer up the mark’s existence. Some new “Napoleon” comes along with every passing season, whose operations are so strong they jar a banker’s reason. A. shining t among the sharks, he cries—his voice bewitches!—“Oh, come to me, ye easy marks, and I will give you riches!” The marks then send him all their cash, at local bankers railing, and soon there comes the destined crash, and all the marks are wailing. But all the les- sons we can teach, and all the fakers cheesy, and all the sermons we y preach, won't make the mark less e He soon recovers from the sting, that left him cold and stony, and then he falls for everything that’s foolish, false and phony. rd The Difference To the pessimist, life is just one yester- day after another. To the optimist, life morrow after another. To the realist, life is one to-day after another. is just one to- st “What er you buying one er them loud- speaking horns fer—didn’t know you had aradio outfit?” “We ain't got a radio outfit, that’s a fact,” said Timothy Bean of Casual Cor- ners, State o” Maine, “but I ‘low we ean hitch it up to our telephone and the hull family'll be able to git in on the neighbor- hood gossip.” st a dreadful second-hand Ted—That’s car rom bought. —He says he'll never have an ac - for it makes so much noise everybody gets out of the way in time. comicbooks.com