Judge — August 19, 1922 — page 27: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

TTHERE recently entered the office of a railway claim agent an old darky who presented a request for compensation for the alleged loss of a mule, which was said to have been killed by one of the trains. “You are sure.” remarked the agent, after hearing the story, “that il was our Atlanta express that killed your imule? Why are you so positive on that point?” “Why. bos prised at the licked every other train on yo" roae Harper's Magazine. ttt “Have you ever ha running stationary er “No, sir,” said the applicant for a job “Bat Eve watched other men run them until L belie T could do it: myself.” “Umph! You remind me of the crowd that gather: nda motorist in distress. Most of the ice he people who've never Birmingham Age-Herald. tt “Men are now enthusiastic about elect- ing women to office.” “DT have observed the fact,” replied Miss Cayenne. veral husbands have been heard to say they would be delighted if their wives, in addition to spending the stmmer ata hotel, would spend the winter in the legislature.”"—Washington Star. te T never can like that man.” “Why not? He's all right.” “TL know he’s all right, but T can’t like him. Te’s never done you any harm.” “Not at all, but [dislike him just the same. He's the man my wife is always vishing I would try to be like."— Detroit “Oh, mummy, we've had such a lovely game! There's an old gentleman asleep over there, so we've buried him!"—London Opinion. s_, Nour new neighbors modern A PHILANTHROPIC lady: visited an sople?” £Y asylum not long und displayed “Modern? Say, they sent in’ last interest in the inmates. Ot to borrow our radio set!"—Buffalo W particularly gained her compas: “And how long have you been here, my addressing a few more questions to him the visitor passed on, She noticed a smile broadening on the of her attendant, and, on asking the cause, heard with consternation that the old man was none other than the medical superinten- dent. She hurried back to make apologies. How suecessful she was may be gathered from these word am sorry, doctor. I will never be governed by appearances again.” — Presbyterian Banner. tt “And you are ninety-five years old!” she exclaimed. “How wonderful! You look so well, so strong, so young. How hi memanaged to do it? My method is) very. simple,” the venerable gentleman lied. “TD have never let any of my friends know it if I didn’t happen to be fecling well, con- sequently T've never had to t the things they would if they had known I was ailin; ae “Tam so unhappy. My sweetheart is s writing poetry dedicated to me.” COMPARISON You're foolish. A) thousand women “If the operation hurts you, don’t blame me but blame your nerves.” “And if I hit you on the nose when it is over, don’t blame me but blame a my tooth."—Meggendorfer Blaetter (Munich). is a satiris wonld envy you. “Yes, if he were a lyrical poet. But he "—Nebelspatter (Zurich).