Judge — August 19, 1922 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Eight bells and all's well Stories to All others at regular rates. First Prize TTILE case of Allie Johnson vs. Rufus mmnounced the de- » concluding with the following words of absolute divorce- Johnson, will pay to the support of Johnson, $2 a week The defendant listened with plea the alimony, and then his expression changed to one f puzzled surprise. , and T onder- ‘cep'w’ bout dis here Seems lak to me stands everythin’ ‘oman is makin’ ain't got no job? “Rufus-Money’?” good money. an’ Second Prize RS. VAN TUYL was going for the first time anxious to avoiil se sulted several friends and got conflicting and was extremely hearty meal before going aboard and you won't have any by a veteran oce: all VO) r “Whatever you do, don’ ‘t won't even feel the motion of the Whereupon Mrs. Van Tuyl was considerably distressed and deciled to consult her physician. she gave him a detailed account of the varying advice gi ssured another. situation, and the by her friends. “Whatever am I to do, doctor?” “It all depends, madam,” “whether you wish to disc aa fron stre ngth or weaknes DAT had been told by the sergeant that unless he made an arrest of some kind he couldn't keep his job on the force, early one morning Pat came into the station with a little man in tow. “Well.” said thes Meret ioisuch ee as “big They proceeded to look over a list of but could not find “bigotry.” said the sergeant, “Doing?” said Pat, “why, the runt has three wive “Why.” said the sergeant, “that’s not try, that’s trigonometry.” ey I" WAS in the busiest time of the day on traffic-blocked Broad street. he traffic officer signaled the long line of waiting autos to proceed. A fair young flapper stalled her machine in the middle of the crossing. the h—"s the matter with you?” shouted the officer. m very well, thank you.” sweetly replied the calm young lady, “but my engine's dead.” ttt im (father of Edwin Booth), had a broken nose. A once remarked to him, “I like your acting, Mr. Booth, but to be frank with you, I can’t * get over your nose.” wonder, te bridge is gon Booth, the tr replied he. S88 A SUNDAY school teacher one morn- £Y ing during the lesson was trying to impress upon the minds of the children that one should always say grace before cating. So turning to Willie, the minister's son, she asked him: “Willie, what is the first thing your father says when you sil down to eat?” She was very much shocked when Willie repl ich Hight on the butter! It's fifty cents a pound!” sat WOMAN had left on a table three pounds of butter. Coming back home the butter was gone. Seeing a cat nearby, she at once suspected the timal, but to be sure, she took the cat to the scales to weigh it. She found it weighed just’ three pounds. ‘There’ my butter,” she exclaimed, “but where is the eat?” Tell JUDGE pays $10 weekly for the best story submitted for this page, and $5 for the second Original, unpublished humorous stories only are wanted. PPWO farmers, Smith and Brown, ha and did not know his neigh- over his farm he discovered # the corn, and not knowing it was Smith's pet crow, shot it. Si ring his dead crow Brown’s gun and { mouthfuls of the crow. he had punished Brown sufficiently, laid down the g rced him to eat a few When he thought and. said_ they picked up the gun and compelled Smith amount of crow. the two met at the home + Who remarked, of a third ne .” replied Brown, “We dined together yesterday.” N the general supply store in a small Southern town on day: the following between a negro and the storekeeper took pl o” my boy lass Sat" John, I remember. bought fum yo too small fo" I will exchange it for you » you one a little | size do you want? de size ob dat wun whut E brung b and seven cighths.” if dat hat am six, r gimme a nine, BOOTBLACK at the end of a cig . thinking to have boy’s expense, asked him if he always smoked cigars. ir, pretty often,” a ittle fun at the “What brand do you generally smoke?” Robinson Crusoe, * answered’ the The gentleman pondered : “never heard of that brand,” announced the boy. old Crusoe wa