Judge — July 29, 1922 — page 31: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Freshman’s Song by Joe Colman Ryan September HEN the spreading shadows linger in my lonely twilit room, And the sounds of early evening break the stillness and the gloom, When the hall lights slowly flicker, casting shadows, weird and dim, And the darkness o’er the landscape, spreads its cape, obscure and grim, I wonder if Flo loves And a myriad of worr' e, now that I’m away from home, rack my weary troubled dome. June When the sun is beaming brightly and the day is clear and fair And the scents of early springtime permeate the freshened air, When bluebirds sing their happiness to the humming of the bees, Like choristers celestial, making music ’neath the trees, I wonder if Flo loves me, as she did so long ago, And I only hope she doesn’t—for I’m now engaged to Jo. tae Willis—What is the Women’s Club meeting about to-day? Gillis—They are going to clean up the movies. “Yes, and I'll bet they haven't cleaned up the baby or the kitchen yet.” sae An optimist isadry Congressman who thinks he has a chance to be re-elected. og perm Sas os Ss . Oa ne eA ak | HUGHES’ ZOO x SSS Ss Soe de { mat 3 ELECT (Teeter *T tell you those people have no telephone.” “I know better, young lady. That's my own house.” “The line’s busy then.” Rr “How many har- vest hands you got this year, Cy?” “Two.” “What's — their names?” “Rightandleft.” ae SUT “Listen, old man, as a friend I ought to tell you. Your son is en- gaged to one of the waitresses.” “It was the only way we could get some food.” tae Hey—What does “E Pluribus Unum” mean? Dey—We want light wines and How Miss Hippo raised the tide “Why do you have so many French names on your menu?” “Why, it gives an imposing list and we need only keep a few dishes that the folks can pronounce the names of.” Fae “Banker Wombat is making some con- cession to current progress.” “As to how?” “He has hired an office man to go around the golf links for him occasion- ally.” FAH “The Chinese pay a doctor only so long as they are well. When they get sick his pay stops.” “Wouldn’t work here. Women have too many imaginary complaints.” ae Let’s Go! by Eliot Keen HE reason some fellows get on in the world, Get up, get the cash, and get happy, Is really no secret; it’s simple as play— Their method is this: “Make it snappy!” They leap from the hay, and they jump for their pants; They swallow their coffee, toot sweet. The yellow-eyed dai don’t sprout in their tracks, No verdure grows under their feet. They rush and they hustle, they’re pulsing with pep, They’re hitting on high as they pass. And so, if you’d bring home the bacon, my boy, Just step on it. Give her the gas! comicbooks.com