Judge — July 29, 1922 — page 29: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

But: Bob’s wild. It’s three and nothing on Sewell. Cy (to Joe): You better cut loose a little, kid. This may be our day. Jor: Not both of us. Cy: Sure, providing he picks you first. (Slight pause). But, listen, kid, if I was you I'd leave the dames alone. Wait till you’ve made good. Jor: I ain’t after no dames. can’t help the looks they give me. Cy: No more than you can help the looks God give you. And he certainly didn’t spread himself. Biuu: He's walked Sewell. Jor: The gals seem to think Ilook O. kK. Cy: How do you know? Jor: The way they act. Do you re- member that poor little kid in New Orleans? y: What kid? s: The telephone’ gal in the hotel. lown to the depot when we went But I ducked her, And_ that in Philadelp! What do you owe her? I don’t owe you nothin’, but out to the game every day, tryin’ But I away. dame she was to flirt. Oh, that woman! What woman? That’s the woman that goes to the games in Philadelphia. You know those Philadelphia fans? Well, she’s their sister. Jor: Idon’t know who she is, but she certainly made eyes at me. Cy: She don’t mean to make eyes. That’s a nervous disease. She’s been looking at the Athletics for years. But you want to quit thinking about the and pay attention to your work. T pay attention to my work! Well, at that, I can see you've You Cy: made quite a study of the batters. know how to pitch to Speaker and Ruth, Jor: Yes, and some of them other high monkey monks. Cy: Well, how would you go to work on George Sisler? Jor: Say, that guy won't never get a hit off me. Cy: Iguess you're right. He told me one day that when he was through in the big league, he was through. But: There goes Gardner. base on balls. But there’s one guy I could fool, Another Oh, anybody could fool him. Well, how would you fool him? I'd say, “Hit this one, George.” And then U'd throw him an orange. Then there’s another way I bet I could fool him. I could say, “George, come out to the house to dinner to-night. My wife’s a great cook. We live at 450 Riverside Drive.” When he got there, he'd find out I don’t live at that address, and be- sides, I ain’t married. Jor: Well, I'd like to get a chance at him. And another guy I'd like to pitch against is Cobb. Cy: Irvin? Joe: That ain’t his name is it? Cy: You mean the man that writes the outfield for Detroit. That’s Irvin. Joe: That’s right, Irvin. Buu: He hit O’Neillin thearm. The bases is choked, boys . THE WORST IS YET TO COME The husband is in the telephone booth trying to get wife at home to tell her that he is going to a matinee with a business friend and— _ His wife is in the next booth trying to get husband, at the office to tell, him that she is going to a matinee with her mother. Cy (to Joe): Put something on her, kid! If he can just get Coveleskie! (warming up at top speed) Listen, kid, if you get in, don’t be scared to cut loose! You got nothing to | Joe: Do you think it'll be me? fe Well, it’s one of us. But (with feeling): Damn! Damn! And he had a double play right in front of him, Cy! He’s waving to you! Cy (jumps up and tears off his sweater): Get out of the way, boy! He wants me in there! (Jor, dazed, gets out of his way and mournfully goes to the bench and. sits down. Cy throws one ball.) Cy: I'm ready. (He picks up his sweater and goes offstage, carrying it on his arm.) Jor: A fine manager we're workin’ for! (Curtain) W. J. Kerr, Pres. The Van Kerr Co. Pil Cure Your Motor! Your troubles are over! I've got the remedy for your motor. No more trouble now from carbon or cylinders that pump oil. No more spark plug fouling—no more spluttering, coughing, jerking, balking, or ‘‘missing.”* I've got the remedy for it all in my Van Kerr Transformer. Just try a set on your car, is all Task. You'll ex- perience something new in the performance of your car. Faster pick-up than you've ever known. Greater power to take the hills. A smoother, sweeter running motor, and a more even'and steady flow of power. 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