Judge — July 29, 1922 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Oh, the things you see (Those dollies) (By gollies) re at the Follies Oh, the things you see at Florrie’s show, Mortgage the flivver; but certainly go. You'd never believe how pretty they grow! lo—do you? The Follies of Twenty-two. To Protect Pedestrians By CHANNING PoLLocKk EHICULAR traffic in general and automobile traffic in _particuler having been regulated to the last notch, with the object of making the streets safe for democracy, it would seem logical to begin on laws for pedestrians. The fol- lowing ordinances are proposed as a start in clearing a complicated sidewalk situa- tion: 1. No woman shall be permitted to carry an umbrella in a public street with- out first having secured a pilot’s license. 2. Such umbrellas, when furled and conveyed beneath the arm, in the usual manner, shall not extend more than eighteen inches outward unless a red flag, or cloth, shall first have been fas- tened to the business end. 12 8. Eyes found impaled upon the fer- rules of such umbrellas shall be under- stood to remain the property of their original possessors. 4. Walking sticks are prohibited in crowded thoroughfares, unless _ their owners shall have provided bumpers, approved by the insurance underwriters, to prevent other pedestrians coming sufficiently near to walk up the walking sticks aforesaid. 5. Hat pins, or garnitures, shall not extend more than three feet beyond the head of the wearer, unless covered at the end by rubber heels. 6. Slow-moving pedestrians must keep to the curb. 7. Rapidly moving pedestrians must not stop abruptly without first having given the usual notice by holding out the right hand, 8. Parking, for conversational pur- poses, will not be permitted in entrances to public buildings, or on the front steps of the same. 9. Women contemplating the pur- chase of subv elevated or theater tickets, or desiring to discuss the same with the vendors thereof, will not ap- proach within five feet of the window without first having disentangled coins from samples of raspberry-colored cre- tonne for the dining-room curtains. Per- sons in line delayed beyond a reasonable time by the violation of this ordinance shall be entitled to use such means, or language, as seems likely to expedite movement. 10. Heavily loaded trailers, whether attached to shoppers by marriage, or otherwise, shall not be allowed upon side- walks in rush hours. 11. Suitcases, ‘and other _ obstruc- tions, shall not be set down in public passages, to waiting rooms, subway trains, or other crowded places, unless warnings, in the form of red flags by day or lanterns by night, shall have been located at least six feet fore and aft of said obstruc- tions. 12. Pedestrians loaded, legally or otherwi: beyond their demonstrated capacity, shall not be permitted in public thoroughfares without some automatic steering device, duly approved. 18. Baby carriages, babies, perambu- lators, go-carts, roller skates, other skates, pogo-sticks, kiddie-kars, steam rollers, high rollers and all similar nuisances shall be debarred from the use of public thoroughfares. 14. All intending pedestrians must forthwith submit to an examination in the rules of the road, and shall thereafter prominently display their license plates, tail lights, and moto mete Further, they shall be equipped with horns, or other signaling devices, and_ shall liable to stoppage, corner cross-examina- tion, arrest, conviction, fine and general insolence on any and all occasions, with or without warning or excuse. Hs WOMEN’S SKIRTS TO BE LONGER —Headline. One by one the joys of living disap- pear.