Judge — June 17, 1922 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Drawn by SHANKS. Angus Levy Retires By Monte Sohn W HEN Angus Levy reached the age of forty-nine and one He up and told the boss, says he, through; oh, boss, I’m done. “I know the route from Timbuctoo to Fez and Hindustan, I know their names and buy- 'm ers’ games in Joplin and Japan. “I’ve traveled forty weeks a year since I been twenty- three, And home-cooked grub from June to June looks awful good to me.” He added that his leisure years he'd spend home with his wife, And hotel cooks and mileage books were nothing in his life. He quit. He bought a little house. He bought a little car, And told his wife that henceforth he would stay at home. “We are?” Said she, “My dear, for twenty years you left me home enough. And now you say at home you'll stay. Now where d’ya get that stuff?” I£ we could believe those seed catalogues. She picked poor Angus off the door and packed him in his bed, And all night long she fondly changed the ice bags on his head. And all night long he raved about her wondrous marmalade And juicy hams and pies and jams that wifie once had made. Judge and the Jury. N and Yet Mrs. Levy had her way, Angus merely smiles And says their little car has covered twenty thousand miles. He says the touring’s done him good. this unremitting roam. He doesn’t mind the ceaseless grind, for Angus stays at home. TUBE OR NOT TUBE The period in which we live may be called the tubular age. Everything is put up in tubes. The other evening, after having shaved myself with considerable difficulty, I discovered I'd been using dentifrice instead of shav- ing cream. Ever since, I have hidden carefully away the paste with which my wife polishes her white kid shoes. AS APPLIED TO FINANCE “What is your idea of capital punishment?” “Paying a man what you owe him with German marks.” THE WIDOW'S MITE The Scriptures speak of the Widow's mite; But the Old Maid’s might is better! The Widow's mite may be all right, But the Old Maid might if you'd let her!