Judge — June 3, 1922 — page 33: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“What I Think of Edison” An Interview with Ed. Wynne. The Perfect Fool By P.L “s R. EDISON,” said Mr. Wynne, M assing his hand gracefully his brow, a gesture not unfamiliar to his thousands of admirers, “is a very great inventor. Take my soup spoon, for instance—" “But,” we suggested— “Quite so,” said Mr. Wynne. “The time is coming when the inventor will take the place of the doctor and the lawyer. Take my sandpaper lined gloves, for instance, as a cure for warts. After wearing this glove a few days, during the performance of the ordinary operations of everyday life, what wart would be hardy enough to withstand the onslaught? “If there is one thing that makes a doctor real angry,” continued Mr. Wynne, “it is to be called out on a case only to find that the patient has re- covered before he gets there. This not only wastes the doctor's time, but, con- Atkinson sidering that he might have been attending to some other pa- tient in the meanwhile, it fre- quently does the undertaker out of a job. If the patient has a high fever, and there is a likeli- hood of the fever dying down or departing before the doctor gets there, my patent, fireproof, water- tight varnish, applied to the entire body, will keep the fever in until the doc- tor arrives. “I believe the inventive future of America is so great that only a_superinventor, like myself, could begin to sense the im- portance of a movement which is destined to—to—well —. Well, anyway,” said Mr. Wynne, continuing the interview all by himself, “take the mere opera- tion of drawing up a deed, for instance, which a lawyer occa- sionally experi- ences. “In order to make certain that the deedee—which, I believe, is the Latin name for the person to whom the prop- erty is conveyed—has a clear title to the property, it is necessary to con- duct a long and arduous search among the county records, which entails con- siderable expense. “With my trained, mechanical ferret the search would not only take one- fourth the time, but could be conducted at the expense of but a few drops of oil and only the effort of winding up the ferret and setting it to work. “And then so much trouble has been | occasioned by broken wills, with in- sanity or feeble-mindedness given as the cause! Anyone of my inventions | will absolutely do away with any doubt as to the sanity or insanity of the be- This hau gigantic sisters, ‘the wor SOUTHAMPTON Rube Heyrick invents-a labor-saving device for his garden—the pogo-spade for summer boarders. | eyeglass Crossing te Atlantic a T re World country was made holder of the Blue Ribbon of the Atlantic — in 4 days, 10 hours and 41 minutes. /” Days Record Passage between Europe and this by the MAURETANIA — the truly grand ship is back in service, thoroughly over- led, and converted into an oil-burner. She and her wonderful AQUITANIA and lux- urious BERENGARIA are making history in carrying on the fastest weekly Passenger Service-de-Luxe, the d has ever known. From NEW YORK every Tuesday to CHERBOURG and Queenstown and LIVERPOOL, to Or services to Londonderry and GLASGOW, to Plymouth, Cher- bourg and HAMBURG fortable— by the beautiful, roomy, homey, oil-burning new ships such as the SCYTHIA, LACONIA, SAMARIA, CAM- ERONIA, in cooperation with the famed and popular CARONIA and her twin-s' CUNARD AND ANCHOR 25 Broadway or Branches and Agencies —a little less speedy but no less com- ter—the CARMANIA. LINES New York queather, which, I believe, is the Latin name for the person who draws a will. Simply show the bequeather my patent grapefruit juice protector, sug gesting the purchase of same at a cost of fifty cents, no home should be with- out one, etc.; and if the bequeather falls for this line of chatter and pro- duces fifty cents, he, or she, is un- doubtedly insane.” At this point in the interview, Mr. Wynne took off his large horn-rimmed glasses and, wiping them with a patent wiper, the ingredients or nature of which we are not permitted to disclose, because it has not yet been Reg. U.S. Pat. Off., and grasping us firmly by the hand, we knew that the interview was over. “Thank you, Mr. Wynne,” we said as we departed. “We are sure Mr. Edison will be greatly pleased at your high estimate of his peculiar abilities.” “Don’t mention it,” said Mr. Wynne, whose aversion for publicity is well known, wishes to state, in with Mr Notr.—The author passing, that this Wynne is a pure invention interview Keep YourSkin-Pores Active and Healthy With Cuticura So ap c.everywhere For sam| intment,Tulcum: SOSPLO i Cuticura taborateries Dept. 7, Malden, ‘address: Cuticura Labori comicbooks.com