Judge — June 3, 1922 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Fordies—Tame and Wild How to Identify All the Different Varieties and Astonish Your Friends with Your Knowledge THE TIFFANY FORD Elon Pell Wimbleton fell in love with the Ford engine while driving an am- bulance in France. Although Wimble- ton, Sr., has twelve cylinders, while mother requires eight and sister can- not possibly manage with less than six, Elon insists that there is nothing like a Ford. To save the family from complete disgrace, Elon consented to leave the chassis with the “world’s leading body specialists” (by their own admission), while they did every- thing possible to indicate that Elon is a delightful chap, with a great sense of playfulness about his automobiling. THE DEUSENBERG FORD Mark Clattler saved up enough to swap in his old Ford and drive home a new one. Then, unexpectedly, the rain came in through the kitchen ceiling. When the roofers were through, Mark's money was gone, but he was left with a large extra sheet of roofing and some red paint. Mark made the most of it. F.0.B. DETROIT Sorry, but this one is regular in every respect. Reading left to right—top row, Uncle Julian; second row, mother, father, Burt Sturk; third row, Eddie, Frank, Chris, Laurence, Harold and Myrtle; bottom row, the triplets, Fisk, Goodrich and Kelly. By Ray GILEs THE NEW-POOR FORD The Barlingsdales, like so many others, grew rich through war exports, only to see the money swallowed up by Texas oil wells. When the Packard was driven away for good, Mr. and Mrs. B. had several perfectly tremen- dous conferences. Ruddie was the only remaining manservant. With all his cleverness at the cocktail shaker, and his unique qualifications at carving duck and managing the front door, you have no idea how Mrs. Barlingsdale had to struggle with him to convince him that he could manage a Ford quite as well. Ruddie is the gentleman at the right. Assisting him is Wladislaw Bjysel, who chaperons most of the heating plants on the block, but is available at odd hours to act as foot- man. THE ROLLS-FORD Honest; $45 worth of nickel-plated radiator and breeze-flung statuary will fool the average wise-eyed schoolgirl quicker than an untried theory in psycho-analysis. Dick Jorday has lost track of the number of flappers who have said to him, “Oh, isn’t it just dear! I didn’t know that Rolls-Royce made a smaller model.” Dickie simply laughs and put on a delightful air of mock embarrassment, which will let him out in case they discover exactly what it was that they rode in that afternoon. 12 HENRY DE LUXE Edgwick Chichester never tires of tell- ing how well Fords run on “cord tires all round—and wire wheels, of cours Really—well, ask Ann. We've own no end of expensive cars, and well, really—you must take a spin with us some afternoon.” THE ATLAS FORD “Oh, yes,” says Wilmer Atlas, “if you want to be sure of getting there, a Ford's the thing. Why—” But there you know how they talk. This is the seventh vacation the Atlases have spent over this chassis, blotting up inter- state impressions. All winter long they will tell about their mileage, gasoline consumption and camping facilities in the different States, etc. THE STUTZ-FORD When Lucy Ballard threw over Ted Kettel, he made two vows—(1) She wouldn’t get the chance again, and (2) she'd rue the day. Two weeks later Ted roared up Malley Hill in this Stutz-Ford. Two things happened immediately—(1) Lue came round to see Ma Kettel with a big bunch of flowers, and (2) she’s ruing the day just like Ted said she would. comicbooks.com